1/13/09

Posted on Tuesday~January 13, 2009

Many of you read my last post and might notice it's gone now.

I took it down because I didn't feel right about it from the moment I posted it, and I woke up this morning ready to delete it, even before I read through the comments.

I don't think it was wrong for me to be so frustrated with judgment and arrogance in general (I didn't link to the blog I was talking about because I wanted to keep it general).

But I do think it's wrong for me to judge the judgers themselves, and I did have a specific person in mind when I wrote that post.

I appreciate that many of you understood it was a moment of frustration for me, one that led me to venting on my blog. I think it's acceptable to do that, but in this case, I wasn't comfortable with myself. People express a lot of things on their blogs- doubts, fears, anger, joy, opinions...I really love that I have a place to do that. I don't want to censor myself, but I just didn't feel right about that post.

So I apologize to those of you that found the post distasteful. I did too, in it's overall judgmental tone. Because that's a tone I really don't want to call mine.

So yeah. The post went bye bye. Peace out.

37 clicked right here to comment:

Keyona said...

Oh Heather, you are entitled to your opinon. That's what these blogs are for and I've come to realize that. I've come across blogs entries that I thought were HORRIBLE but agreed with the writer in other areas. Don't censor yourself because this blog is yours just like mine belongs to me and I'm entitled to put what I want on it and if people don't like what I have to say they don't have to read.

Keep doing what your doing girlfriend.

Wendi @ Every Day Miracles said...

Now, since I did not have the chnace to read your previous post, of course I am curious as all get out... :)
I do appreciate your sensitivity though. Whatever it was about, I sense a real discerning spirit in you.
Loving your blog. For some reason I got confused a while ago when I was trying to find your blog because there were a few blogs listed on your profile and I didn't know where to go. I was all "What do I do, oh no!" :) So, I gave up. I'm glad I tried again. :)

kel said...

Dang it, I missed some drama!

dani said...

hi, heather:) i was just going through some of my older posts and came across a comment you left in august:? i always try to reply but think i failed to do so...
so, better late than never (i hope). i'm replying:P
thank you (belatedly) for stopping by my site.
~~~~~~~~~
now, i obviously didn't read your last post; but i hope all is well with you and yours. i totally understand the concept of saying or writing something before i really give it the thought it requires (hence the name of my blog, "give me a second to think about it", tee-hee:)
hugs,
dani xxx

Debbie said...

You know you didn't offend me. I so agreed with you. But, I took a post off my blog once because I thought I had gone down a path I didn't want to go. So, I support that little "delete" option. Have a wonderful day, my friend.

3 Bay B Chicks said...

Ack! I am gone one or two days and come back to find that you are apologizing for a post? Sorry that you found yourself in this position. Blogging is such a tricky business. I highly doubt said post was all that distasteful. It seems impossible that you would be capable of writing anything like that.

However, that being said, you have to do what is right for you. Even in our short little life-span on our blog, I have deleted a post. As long as you feel better after doing so, it is worth it.

-Francesca

katy (aka funny girl) said...

I totally got where you were coming from in your post. It's kind of a catch-22; you want your blog to grow, but that means lots of readers with lots of opinions.

I'm glad you followed your gut and that you feel good about your decision to take it down. But I don't think you were ugly or inappropriate in any way. Just wanted you to know that. :-)

♥georgie♥ said...

I didnt see the post either and thats fine...there have been times I posted something then later thought what the heck was i thinking...
Blog on Blog on...

Motherboard said...

You should never apologize for what you write. It's your blog. I didn't think it was an ugly post at all!

I still think you are da bomb!

Jami said...

I wasn't offended. I must say, however, that I am very impressed with your honesty in the first place and your sensitivity in the second.

Blog on, my friend!

Jillene said...

I totally missed it!! I didn't have much time to blog last night--sorry. I agree with Motherboard--you should never apologize for what you write. It is the honesty that I appreciate on blogs--I appreciate that people don't just post about rainbows and butterflies. That's why I love your blog so much!!

Izzy 'N Emmy said...

Darn, I missed it too. I will say this though...Blogging is for us to express our daily lives, HOWEVER I know I have come across a blog or two that just frustrate the hell out of me.

I hope whatever your post was about is better now and even after deleting the entry, I hope it felt good to write about what was on your mind.

Kristina P. said...

The thing is, is that you didn't say who the post was about. I thought that you were general enough, and talking about a conversation, that I didn't feel like it was mean or really ranty.

But, I understand how you feel about regretting something you say.

Evolving Mommy Catherine said...

I agree with Jami and Kristina P. It is always refreshing to hear an honest thought and I do feel like you kept your thoughts general and although you knew who was the cause of your frustration we didn't and could still realate. People all over the country thought your words were right on point and I think that points to a bigger problem than just the blogger you were thinking of.

Of course if something doesn't sit rught for ou on your blog than there is not question you should take it down. this is your place and it needs to feel right to you.

C said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lara said...

You are a good woman, Heather.

Becky said...

I just typed up a post and had a specific person in mind as I typed. It's not a mean post, per se, but I was obviously frustrated when I wrote it and you'd be able to tell. I was debating whether or not to publish it, and I think that this post is my answer. Thanks for the nudge.

Annette Lyon said...

I really respect for that--both the frustration and the previous post AND taking it down.

You're a great example to us.

MidnightCafe said...

(((hugs))) Heather. I read the other post but didn't have time to comment. I totally get the frustration. (You knew I would, right?) I also totally respect you for taking it down...though maybe a post on the subject in general might be worthwhile.

Melissa said...

Oh, that's REAL NICE! Talk about a post with some drama in it that I'll never be able to read, why don't you?!

Seriously, I'm on board with everyone else: It's your blog, so don't worry about what others think. But i'm also a huge believer in that "feeling." If you felt that it should come down, and you feel better now that it's down, kudos to you! And it's just my stupid luck that I missed it!

a Tonggu Momma said...

That feeling is the Holy Spirit... and I've deleted a post once before, too. I agreed with you on every point of your previous post -- but that doesn't make us right, now, does it? Hugs to you, Heather.

pam at beyondjustmom said...

I was so ready to go to the mattresses with you, so maybe I should be feeling guilty too ;-).
Your post expressed a valid frustration with Christians who sabotage the name, and I do think it's time to claim it back in love.
But you also listened to your conscience, which I believe is the still small breath of God, in concern for the person out there who might feel shamed. And that, my friend, is the right thing to do. Blessings!

Homesteading said...

I have had way too many moments like that. Whenever I come up against judgement within my own heart, I alway turn the mirror back on myself. I usually find that there is something within me that I am seeing in the other person. Not that I am saying that of you, but it usually helps me to be more forgiving of others.

Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

Been there. Done that. Deleted it too. Will probably repeat the process again in the future :)

Tooj said...

And NOW I realize why I can't skip a day in reading my bloggies. :) I understand why you took down what you did...whatever IT was. I find it difficult to read blogs that are viscious in tone or have that "evil eye" feel. But you probably knew that....happy Tuesday.

Beth in NC said...

Oh man! I missed it. :o) I understand though. I've written several blogs where I felt safe venting about my dear MIL, but I decided I would just remove them and leave them in "edit/draft" mode. Nobody else can see them, but they aren't deleted either.

I'm sure your venting was still in love.

Bless you today!
Beth

charrette said...

Oh shoot! I missed something controversial? Darn! I must have ben napping. :)

Actually I have removed one post as well. I just felt like it was too shallow, not the kind of thing I wanted a one-time visitor to stumble upon and think it represented me. At all.

And I'm a firm believer in acting on those feeling you wake up in the morning with.

So I'm usre you did the right thing. But I am kind of sorry I missed your rant!

xo

Sabrina said...

WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS TALKING SMACK ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!

I CAN'T HELP THAT I PUT FROSTING ON CORN BREAD MUFFINS!!!!!

Melanie J said...

You're a thoughtful person. I don't think you were disrespectful to anyone because you didn't name names or make it possible to figure out who it is, and therefore, you ddin't malign anyone specific, as much as you might have felt that way at the moment. Anyway, I thought you made a valid point and I think the people who consider themselves as part of the group you mentioned would understand (and agree with) the spirit you intended when you posted. Which I took as a call for us all to be more compassionate, btw.

But good for you for following your conscience.

BaronessBlack said...

Hi there! I started my blog to keep my (now separated) parents in the loop as to what our family was up to when they were away working overseas. For this reason I try never to express any opinion that could be contentious! Facebook now, that's another matter! We all need somewhere to vent; and somewhere to exercise the discipline of communicating without offending!

Kimberly said...

You are so fabulous!

I've written angry, hurt, venting posts before and invariably take them down as well. It's not that we think we don't have the right to be upset, it's that we don't want to be like the people we're judging. Also, our blogs are kind of our happy place. Filling them with anger just doesn't feel right.

Writing posts like that though...that does feel kind of good in the moment, doesn't it? In retrospect, some are best kept in the drafts folder. Way to follow your heart, hun. You're amazing. ~hugs~

Abra said...

Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt.
Still love you, and I didn't think it was that bad of a post!

Sue said...

Heather, that post is still in my reader. And I thought it was, as always, sensitively written and well thought out. And true. I'm sorry you felt you had to take it down.

I get it though. I've done more than my share of post and then put-back-in-drafting. I know that uncomfortable feeling. Sometimes I wish I didn't care, but I do.

It makes me a little sad that it sometimes seems people only like us when we're being the very most uncontroversial version of whatever our readers think we are. Of course, our blog friends will always love us - but I've found the vast majority of the people silently reading don't like for me to have strong opinions. I'm not sure what to think about that. I'm not strong enough to just say, "Well too bad for them." (It's that whole wanting to be liked thing. Dang it.)

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

I'm a pretty opinionated person, but quiet about it. I usually try to keep my blog frivolous and fun because the minute I get serious, I lose readers and offend someone. And overall, I do like to laugh just about more than anything, so it's a joy, really. But I couldn't help myself during the election stuff sometimes. Just couldn't help myself.

C said...

Fine. Whatever. Geesh.

I still think you smell good sometimes... or, maybe now, I will only think that occasionally.... I guess we'll have to see.

Hurrumph!
xo, crock

(that better? :p)

Heidi Ashworth said...

I wish I had time to read what everyone else wrote BUT I just have to say that I admire you for your take on this--your final FINAL take. I didn't feel bad about what you wrote (originally) but I do feel bad that not everyone who is publically judged gets a defense like that--for example, Mr. Bush. No one should be treated that way, even if you don't like what he does. Esp. when he is our president. So, really, that was the only less than lovely thought your post inspired. But, like I said, now that you have gone and said it, I agree with why you took it down (but I wouldn't have thought of it on my own b/c I love you!)

Growin' with it! said...

ahh, so love it when that Holy Spirit does the nudging. i've posted, went to bed and then laid there in agony, gotten back up and changed my post. you RAWK!!

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