The Perils of Ignorance

Did you know that Discover is the card that pays you back? Well, Ryan and I use this card that pays us back and we generally choose our rewards in the form of shopping at Borders. We love us some books and music. Well, anyway. I was on-line yesterday at nap-time, ordering up some free books. I shopped and happily shopped, picking up The Shack, which is all the rage these days, and some kid's books. I filled out the whole registration form and gift card number and then Asher woke up. So I went to get him and I put him on the floor next to me. I turned to the computer, put my hand on the mouse and prepared to click "place order." And then the computer screen went blank. Off. Gone. Nada. Zip. Nothing.

"What happened?" I said, the light little airy feeling of a book purchase about to be made evaporating into thin air...

I looked down. Asher looked up. He grinned. Then he laughed maniacally. I looked closer and there was his tiny little finger, pressing into the computer's power button.

(picture me here with hands on my head repeating "no, no, no, no that didn't just happen!")

I just wanted some books. Just a little day brightener book purchase. So I decided to be my stubborn self and start over. What fun. But I had to come up with a really good distraction for Asher in order to accomplish using the computer while it was actually running.

I put him in his highchair with a sucker and got back to work. Genius, huh?

Of course he covered himself in a sticky layer of sugar, but I figured it was worth it. I finished the order, took Asher out of the highchair and set him on the floor. I turned to get a washcloth and he crawled as fast as he could across the floor to empty the contents of the diaper bag. I'm quite accustomed to this and figured there was nothing harmful in the bag. I took the opportunity to wipe the stickiness from the highchair.

I went over to scrub Asher next, only to discover I had not previously taken a close enough look at how much of his body was actually covered in stickiness. (Like every inch that wasn't covered in clothing, which was pretty much all of him since he was only wearing a diaper.) And now? Well, he had turned a box of crackers upside-down onto the floor, dumping the finest layer of crumbs across the hardwood. And then? Well, he proceeded to roll around in it. He was covered in crumbs, dog hair and sand and such. I tried frantically brushing it off, but it was like glue. It reminded me of Shake-n-Bake, bread crumbs and spices clinging to chicken legs. I almost threw the child in the oven to see how he'd turn out, but I then remembered I'm absolutely in love with the little trouble-maker. So I gave him a bath instead.