The Perils of Ignorance

Did you know that Discover is the card that pays you back? Well, Ryan and I use this card that pays us back and we generally choose our rewards in the form of shopping at Borders. We love us some books and music. Well, anyway. I was on-line yesterday at nap-time, ordering up some free books. I shopped and happily shopped, picking up The Shack, which is all the rage these days, and some kid's books. I filled out the whole registration form and gift card number and then Asher woke up. So I went to get him and I put him on the floor next to me. I turned to the computer, put my hand on the mouse and prepared to click "place order." And then the computer screen went blank. Off. Gone. Nada. Zip. Nothing.

"What happened?" I said, the light little airy feeling of a book purchase about to be made evaporating into thin air...

I looked down. Asher looked up. He grinned. Then he laughed maniacally. I looked closer and there was his tiny little finger, pressing into the computer's power button.

(picture me here with hands on my head repeating "no, no, no, no that didn't just happen!")

I just wanted some books. Just a little day brightener book purchase. So I decided to be my stubborn self and start over. What fun. But I had to come up with a really good distraction for Asher in order to accomplish using the computer while it was actually running.

I put him in his highchair with a sucker and got back to work. Genius, huh?

Of course he covered himself in a sticky layer of sugar, but I figured it was worth it. I finished the order, took Asher out of the highchair and set him on the floor. I turned to get a washcloth and he crawled as fast as he could across the floor to empty the contents of the diaper bag. I'm quite accustomed to this and figured there was nothing harmful in the bag. I took the opportunity to wipe the stickiness from the highchair.

I went over to scrub Asher next, only to discover I had not previously taken a close enough look at how much of his body was actually covered in stickiness. (Like every inch that wasn't covered in clothing, which was pretty much all of him since he was only wearing a diaper.) And now? Well, he had turned a box of crackers upside-down onto the floor, dumping the finest layer of crumbs across the hardwood. And then? Well, he proceeded to roll around in it. He was covered in crumbs, dog hair and sand and such. I tried frantically brushing it off, but it was like glue. It reminded me of Shake-n-Bake, bread crumbs and spices clinging to chicken legs. I almost threw the child in the oven to see how he'd turn out, but I then remembered I'm absolutely in love with the little trouble-maker. So I gave him a bath instead.

12 clicked right here to comment:

Sabrina said...

It's Shake n' Bake and I helped!

joolee said...

I love the light little airy feeling of a book purchase:)

The Three 22nds said...

My 15 month old is a little pro at turning the computer off at the most inopprotune times!

Woohoo! I am SO GLAD that someone else gives a baby who still sits in a high chair a sucker so that they can get something done!

happygeek said...

Shake and bake.

MommyTime said...

Bwahahahah! The image of him covered in sticky and crackers and sand and crumbs is priceless. And it makes me so happy to know I'm not the only one whose child ends up looking like that in record time while I'm trying to do something basic like fill out a form or answer the phone. This post is hilarious!

Jenny said...

HA! Sounds like a scene from my house! Yes, we must have a twin cities bloggers get-together! What fun!

I will giggle at your little shake and bake boy for days. Days, I say.

malloryelise. said...

thanks so much for the comment. i don't get many of those, so it's a very prized thing! and i especially like how it led me to your blog. this post made me laugh! i'm now a fan.

MoziEsmé said...

I LOVE the Shake 'n Bake story!

I get my computer turned off all the time, too. I think it is a hint.

PsychMamma said...

Hilarious! I imagine the tub was no picnic to clean up afterward either.

He's gonna love this story when he's in high school. :-)


Amy said...

I have the same stuff on my hardwoods every single minute.
Sweeping never helped, so I gave it up like 4 years ago.

Brillig said...

HAHAHA. What a little stinker! This is... well... this is SO FAMILIAR. (I love the Shake-n-Bake imagery--never thought of that before!)

Oh, and I have TOTALLY used the high-chair and a sucker strategy in order to accomplish something. It always seems to backfire, but I still use it...

Kelly @ Love Well said...

The things we'll do to get a few moments peace.

I gave Teyla a wagon wheel today so I could just finish cleaning up the kitchen.

Of course, by the time I was done with the table, I had to start in on her. I believe those things were invented by 3M, the way they stick and morph into cement.

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