9/29/08

Marking Time

Does it mean I've officially lost my mind if I have moments here and there of thinking it would be a good idea to have another baby?

What a difference a year can make.

Last year at our annual day at the orchard, I was a complete wreck as the mother of a colicky newborn and a toddler. A toddler who was very mad at the colicky newborn for ruining his life. Let's just say it totally stunk.
Here I am (last year), pretending to have a lovely time
when I was really pretty much
completely insane. (niece, E also pictured)

Yesterday, we were back with Ryan's family for our annual trip to the orchard. It was absolutely beautiful outside. We had a ridiculously good time. I wasn't pacing around with Asher attached to me, praying that he wouldn't start screaming. He was content, maybe even peaceful. It was a beautiful thing. And Miles was his usual happy-go-lucky adventurous self, romping around with his cousins and laughing hysterically. It was good. One year later. It was good.

What a difference a year can make.

If you would have brought up our family having another baby one year ago, I probably would have slapped you while laughing my head off. Then I would have passed out. That's how out of my mind I was.

When people bring up our family having another baby now, I say something like, "oh I don't know. We'll see. Maybe when Asher's a bit older." Then I have flashbacks to one year ago and I quickly add, "or maybe not."

One of my favorite things about life is being able to reflect as the years pass by and we experience these little time markers. I've been looking back over time, orchard visit by orchard visit. Some years were full of trials and stress. Some were peaceful, like yesterday. Either way, it amazes me that it just keeps getting better. Good or bad, it doesn't really matter. We're growing and changing alongside each other, and I suppose that's the best we can do. Even when time is limping along, keeping us a bit in the dark. We can always be certain things will continue to change. We'll arrive at a new year, and be given a chance to look back and see the difference a year can make.

Check out the big boy stance.

The former screamer


21 clicked right here to comment:

Sabrina said...

Happy Anniversary! I mean for you and me! We met on Kelly's birthday last year! And i remember how tired you were, how you couldnt eat anything because of the ash-man. I also remember thinking how obnoxious you must think i am because of that last mojito i had. Can that sabrina girl talk any louder!
Im glad you still opted to be my friend. It's been a pleasure!
A lot can change in a year... and yet some things still stay the same. Good Times.

Lisa said...

He is so cute. I love the baby wrap around thing. Isn't it strange how much we can forget and almost overlook. When Aaron was born, during the birth, my husband was saying we would never do this again unless I could have the baby in America with an epidural (I was out of my mind in pain). Now I'm feeling ready to do it all over again, even if it ends up as hard as it was with Aaron. Yes. It's amazing what a difference a year makes!

The Three 22nds said...

You know...the other day after a terrible weekend (meaning a weekend filled with screaming, crying, nothing getting done etc) we were standing in the kitchen and I said, "I think if our next one is a girl we should have 5 kids." And Noah just looked at me and said, "I think it is incredible (incredible what, honey? Incredibly stupid, incredibly sweet, incredibly endearing?) how you can say that after this weekend."
It must just be a mom thing. The good times must just outweigh the bad.

Kristina P. said...

I'm still waiting for the first baby bug to hit me.

Your children are adorable.

radioactive girl said...

My youngest has never been a good sleeper. Ever. If he had been my first or second, we would not have had more. Even now he is mostly nocturnal and sleepwalks and has night terrors. It is a milion times better than it was, but I totally get what you are saying.

Your little guy is adorable!

If I could have more kids, I would totally be wanting to right about now.

a Tonggu Momma said...

A year really, truly does make all the difference!!!!

Bonnie Lewis said...

i feel like all i do is read mom blogs and babysit kids, so the other day when i turned on Deal or No Deal and it was "mommy to be" week and all the suitcase girls were replaced by expecting mom's, I cried when she won big. what is wrong with me!? i dont want kids, i mean heck im 23 and i've been married 3 months. but i do looooooooove moms. there is something about you all that is so inspiring. love to you and your little ones!

*MARY* said...

I'm in the same poop filled tub with you on this one.
I have a three year old and an almost two year old and last year I thought I was done with babies. But recently I've been really missing the newborn stage, I want to buy the teeny tiny diapers again. We'll see.

Kimberly said...

So glad the light at the end of the tunnel is turning out to be so lovely!

I had different challenges but similar out-of-my-mindness so I know what you mean!

Marivic_Little GrumpyAngel said...

Your babies are so cute. You make good looking babies. I think you should have more of them, colicky or not. Um, please don't slap me for that! :-) I know, I know, easy for me to encourage you when I'm not the one suffering through it. But it's a natural mommy thing to know when your family is not quite complete so you'll know when the time is right for another one. Tender post. Love it.

Jillene said...

I wish I could have another baby but my body says no! )0:

Melanie J said...

Cool. I have this same brain fade every couple of months after a particularly good day. Then I think about the being pregnant part and the not sleeping part and end up at, "Maybe later" too.

Kazzy said...

I love the name Asher. Very cool. I think the flashes of "should I?" and "I probably shouldn't" are pretty normal. I felt so completely positive on a couple of my kids and only kinda sure on the other two, but I look back now and realize it all worked out for me. The craving to have a family is so irrational, isn't it? LOL

JustRandi said...

It's a good thing we don't have to lay our life plans out from the beginning, isn't it? Scary to think how different my life would be if I didn't have new experiences to alter my choices.

Thanks for giving me something to think about today!

Heidi Ashworth said...

If you are toying with the idea now, it will probably be a reality some time in the future. Just think of all the new love! If I wasn't too old, I would definitely have another one--as long as I could get some kind of signed document certifying that this baby would be, you know, normal . . .

Octamom said...

He is so darling--and oh, yes, I've had my seasons where even leaving the house seemed an impossible dream!

Loved the pics!
Blessings!

Muthering Heights said...

It looks like you had a great time...and what a nice opportunity to reflect!

Peanut said...

I'm worried about wanting another baby. Hubby says we're done, but I say "We'll see". So far, I'm still too tired to think of it (or remember how to make one), but I know I'll start getting those feelings again.
It is nice to reach time markers and realize how far we've come. I'm glad this visit was much more enjoyable than last year's!

Eowyn said...

It always takes time. I can never even think about having another child for at least the first year. It's too frightening.

Jessica said...

YES! I was so out of my mind sick, I couldn't even brush my teeth and we had to have someone day and night to help with our daughter and I finally landed in the hospital, and even after I wasn't sick I was just so freaking miserable and fat and swore I would NEVER do this again . . . but then I see how big my baby is and think what if I never have a tiny baby again . . . and think ah, it wasn't really that bad, I could do it again!

Kelly @ Love Well said...

Every time I call my sister lately and say I have something to tell her, she asks, "What? Are you pregnant?"

I'm like, "Seriously, Emily. Teyla is 8 months old. I haven't even gotten my period again yet. BACK OFF!"

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