Soap Opera Sunday: The Memory of a Triangle

I had the same boyfriend for almost three years in high school. But not three years straight. Since I would break up with him every now and again, then miss him terribly, then ask for him back. We'll call him Jim. Just for kicks.

We were more than smitten with each other, so Jim would always give in when I asked for him back. Except for once our senior year when I really had to fight to get him back. I learned that the world didn't revolve around me (gasp!), and realized that there were other girls out there that might enjoy his company. One of them happened to be cute, smart, kind and a friend of mine. We will call her Talia.

Now most of the time it would be considered totally against the unspoken rules for a friend to start dating someone you just broke up with. But in our school, that couldn't really be a rule because there weren't enough really great guys to go around. (Only 113 people in our class.) I'm sure it had something to do with Jim and Talia's chemistry as well, and many times, you just can't stop the heart-racing power of chemistry.

Talia and Jim hit it off when they realized they could be more than friends, and I was completely heart-broken. So I selfishly started working plans to steal him back. Of course I did. We were in high school, a great place to make a fool of yourself.

There were notes passed and bathroom meetings, where Talia and I would try to work through our feelings and be really mature about things. But away from school I was a wreck, imagining them together and driving by Jim's house, trying to make sure Talia's car wasn't there. (Stalk much?) I called him a lot and wrote long love letters making promises and begging for another chance.

In the end, he chose me. But you know what? In hindsight, I wish he hadn't. He could have taught me a valuable lesson, and maybe he should have. Because I fought for him for all the wrong reasons. Sure I was attached to him, shared a million memories with him, and didn't want him out of my life. But I think more than anything I was fighting simply to win. For my pride. To be the "better" girl. But I wasn't the better girl. I could have just let him go, let life happen. But I refused to do that for the sake of being stubborn and wanting to win. And what's worse is that it didn't take long for me to change my mind and break up with him again. For the last time. Such a selfish little girl I was. And still can be, I suppose.

It's funny how long a person can carry memories and feelings with them, wishing to change something. Even feeling guilty. Maybe it's still a pride issue, not wanting to be remembered that way. But more than that, I just think I could have treated these two people with more respect.

Today Talia and Jim are both married (no, not to each other but that would make for a really great story), with families of their own. I haven't spoken to Jim since right after we graduated, when I broke his heart for the last time.

But my favorite part of this story is that Talia is still my friend. We joke about our love triangle every now and again, laughing about how dramatic it all was way back then. We laugh at how Talia realized she had to let Jim go back to me after hearing the song, I Can't Make You Love Me by Bonnie Raitt, while lying in the tanning booth. Or was that me? Too many years have gone by to be sure.

One of the many beauties of friendship is that no matter how life changes or what bumps there are in the road, most of the time, it remains. At least that has been the case for me. I have been blessed with knowing and loving some exceptional women, putting up with me for many years now. We may not see each other or talk much with busy lives these days, but we still pick up where we left off, comfortable and at ease in each other's company.

These are a few girls from my graduating class who I still call friend.
Yes, T is in the photo, but I won't point her out. Have fun guessing!

*This post is my submission to Soap Opera Sundays for the month of September. The theme is "Three's Company, or Three's a Crowd." Please share your stories too! Remember, you don't have to stick tightly to the theme, it's just there to get your ideas flowing. You have all of September, and you can add your post anytime, it doesn't have to be a Sunday :)
Once you've written your post, you can add it to Mr. Linky on this post for others to read.

*If you'd like to read more SOS entries, head over to the Mr. Linky post, click on Mr. Linky, and you'll be given a list of names. Happy reading!