11/10/08

A Conversation Exercise

Today's guest post comes to you from the brilliant Tonggu Momma of Our Little Tongginator. Her blog is always a joy to read as she chronicles daily life with her Little Tongginator, sharing their stories with wit and wisdom. Tonggu Momma often has me in stitches. (She gets herself in lots of trouble-accidentally flashing the babysitter for example. Or almost scaring off trick or treaters with a dead bird.)

This lady knows how to tell a story. She keeps it real, expressing the difficulties of grief after the recent loss of a dear friend, and sharing the trials of the bumpy road to adoption. All the while, she sprinkles her words with humor and expresses a great love for her family. She's an inspiration!

So go over and experience the talent of this lovely friend of mine. You won't be disappointed!
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Hey there, y'all. This is Tonggu Momma here, filling in for Heather during her much needed break from the blogosphere. I fell in love with Heather's blog when I left a comment on the first post I ever read authored by little Miss EO. I loved the post, but I about fell off my chair laughing when I read her "Talk to me Goose." You see... my daddy WAS a Goose, also known as a RIO in a two-seater fighter jet. In that moment, I became a Heather stalker. Surprisingly, Heather sometimes stalks me. And I can't imagine why. She's Deep and Thoughtful and Spiritually Mature. And me? Well... basically I'm like this...

(previously published at Our Little Tongginator on September 12, 2008)

TM'S BRAIN
: I so need to lose some weight. I can do this. I just need to get off my duff and do this. I am GOING to do this.

And so began Tonggu Momma's First Ever Attempt to Lose Those Extra Ten Pounds. While the Tongginator attended preschool yesterday morning, Tonggu Momma stepped away from the laptop, donned an embarrassingly ugly exercise outfit and headed out the door. She was a Woman On A Mission: She was going for a Walk.

TM'S LEGS: Okay, we can totally do this. This isn't so bad. It's not like this is running or anything. We ARE doing it. We are In The Zone. Oh, yeah.

TM'S BRAIN: I told y'all we could do this. We can SO do this.

TM'S GLUTES: Zzzzzzz....

TM'S LUNGS: Whoa... wait a minute. gasp What is up with THIS? gasp Did you remember the inhaler? wheeze

TM'S BRAIN: Shoot! I knew I forgot something. Sorry about that. But we can still do this, y'all. Just breathe slowly. And keep moving.

TM'S LUNGS: What?!?!? Oh. gasp My. gasp Gosh. wheeze

TM'S LEGS: Umm... this isn't that much fun anymore. Umm... no, definitely not fun. Can someone help us out please?

TM'S GLUTES: Zzzzzzz....

TM'S SIDE: Hey guys? I don't know about y'all, but I'm totally hurting over here.

TM'S BRAIN: We can DO this y'all. Come ON!!!

TM'S LUNGS: Wheezing... Wheezing here...

TM'S LEGS: You know, if SOME OF Y'ALL would help, this wouldn't feel so difficult.

TM'S GLUTES: Zzzzzzz....

TM'S SIDE: Legs, you know they aren't ever going to help. Where do you think all of that extra fat goes? They are the laziest ones here. I mean, I don't want to be rude, but they act like total butts.

TM'S LUNGS: Umm... Side? wheeze They ARE the butt.

TM'S BRAIN: (sigh) You know, if y'all cooperated this wouldn't feel so difficult. And no name calling!

TM'S LEGS: Well maybe if YOU'D actually made more of an effort, Brain, we wouldn't be in this fix anyway. How did you let things get so bad?

TM'S LUNGS: Y'all, can't we all just get along for once? gasp I don't want to die during an argument.

TM'S GLUTES: Wha...? (waking up rapidly) GREAT GOODNESS!!!! What IS this? Where am I? Why the heck am I... is that tingling? WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY IS GOING ON!!!!

TM'S LEGS: Bout time you woke up.

TM'S LUNGS: Hey there, Glutes. gasp We're exercising. wheeze

TM'S GLUTES: (long pause) But WHY?!?

TM'S SIDE: Well, I don't want to be the one to say it, but... Glutes, you've gotten fat. We have to lose ten pounds.

TM'S GLUTES: I. Want. To. Die.

TM'S LEGS: Me, too.

TM'S LUNGS: I gasp think gasp I already wheeze did.

Y'all, I totally survived, even though I didn't want to. It was the longest mile-and-a-half okay, 1.3 miles of my life. It didn't help that my neighbor Apple jogged past during the last block, smiling, waving, looking all athletic and gorgeous. When I got home, I stood on the scale.

Like I actually thought I would see a difference.

13 clicked right here to comment:

Kazzy said...

LOL Don't we always weigh ourselves after exercise? It is part of the psychology of it. Thanks for the fun post.

Sabrina said...

Working out is lame! UGH! Nice job being pseudo heather today! :)

Ron said...

hilarious

If I did it, there would be all kinds of other body parts to complain .. knees, ankles, feet, back .. ah the joys of being old

Becky said...

Hee, hee! I love that you weighed yourself afterward. Excellent.

LisAway said...

So funny!! I wonder, could this actually be heard, or was it just betweent the organs/tissues?

Poor lungs, they always bear the brunt of it right at first, until the next day when the muscles are feelin' it.

What a lazy butt. Not you, TM. I just mean your glutes. Sleeping on the job like that and everything.

Heidi Ashworth said...

That surely brings me back to my first days of exercising on a trampoline--I did exactly three jumps, only, they weren't jumps, more like bounces and then I was exhausted and had to rest for the remainder of the day. I eventually got up to 40 minutes but who had time for that when there's blogging to be done?

Kim said...

Holy moly, I love that post!!! Yep, my glutes are a lot lazy too. They have more than 10 to lose, and they just won't wake up either!
I love it!!!! I am laughing so hard over here -- hey, does that count as exercise?!?!

Keyona said...

That is too funny! I too weigh myself after I work out. You never know right??

Jillene said...

HILARIOUS!! I am still laughing!!

Debbie said...

Just reading this made me laugh which is exercise in my book. Check! Done for today. Great post.

Erin said...

I have been thinking about going for a walk for a while now. Reading this has changed my mind. It's just too darn hard.

Great post!

Eowyn said...

Very funny, and tell Miss EO hi for me!

Marivic_Little GrumpyAngel said...

So hilarious. Best conversation I've been allowed to listen to (read) this week :-)

That part about getting on the scale after the work-out---priceless! LOL!

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