2/13/09

I'M RUINED!

Posted on Friday~February 13, 2009

May I have a moment to totally freak out?

Okay, thanks...

Some days no matter how hard I try, I can't be the Mom that's in my head and heart. Every which way I turn there are things stealing her from me. I don't like the lady that's left behind. Impatient, short-tempered and tired.

There's too much to do in too little time. That stresses me out. I won't bore you with the details, but let's just say that I can't figure out how to get any of it done. The errands take two hours longer than planned because I'm constantly stopping to tie shoes and wipe noses and have "discussions" with the new boy that took over my sweet Miles' body. This new boy is not so nice. I can't wait for the old Miles to come back. I love them both, but the new one leaves me confused as to what to do.

So yeah, I'm at a loss for how to handle my temper, my to-do list, my life.

And there's worry sitting on my shoulder, tapping me on the head because Asher isn't quite himself. Could be a cold. Could be teeth. He brought me into my room yesterday saying "uh oh" and pulling me by the hand. Then he stopped and pointed at where he had vomited on the floor. So I clean it up and make the call and ask the nurse what I'm to do. She says that if it's a shunt malfunction the vomiting won't stop, to watch him and call again with an update. So I watch and I wait and I think everything I step in is more evidence that something is wrong.

So far so good.

I know this will pass, but as you can see, I'm tired.

As I type this, I make trips back and forth to Miles, who is totally losing his mind because he thinks it's really dumb that he's having some quiet time while Asher naps. He's screaming at the top of his lungs and making a thousand excuses to get up. (You know what's funny? I thought that my children would never do this! pfffft.) His latest mantra to scream over and over?

"Mamaaaa! You're making me RUINED!"

I hope not. But you're staying in there, kid.

I need some contact with the outside world. Could you make me laugh? Say something funny. Anything. A joke, a riddle, a random statement about nothing...You know like, "I saw a deer on the top of a trailer last night and then the mailman said his mom has blue hair." Or, "Did you know that my dog knows how to tip-toe?" Something like that. I could really use some cheering.

Off to fight with life.

(I'm still a good mom, I'm still a good mom, I'm still a good mom....)
(It'll all get done, IT WILL ALL GET DONE.)

(Don't mind me, I'm talking to myself.)


Wasn't this an uplifting and encouraging visit with me today?

No? Oh....sorry.

55 clicked right here to comment:

Kristina P. said...

This is all I got:

Why was Tigger looking in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

Jami said...

Love and hugs. "Some days are like that even in Australia."

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Just want to let you know you day and your mood are normal! :) I wrote about things I hate today, so you might find some humor and empathy there. Good luck!! (Does Ryan get home tonight? That will help.)

Brooke said...

My son came in this morning and told me that he played a game with me (Trouble) and that he won. I was in the shower while he played both parts of said game. Somehow, he won. I'm just not sure how that happened. I mean, I'm sure he was playing both parts very fair. I'm just sure of it.
Sorry your day stinks. I like Kristina's joke. Refer back to that. I've got nothin'.

NorahS said...

Well, I don't know about you but Kristina made me laugh! And I love reading your blog, uplifting and encouraging--or not! :o) My only child is 1600 miles away at college. There are times I would trade that for noses to wipe and puke to clean up. But sometimes not.

Hang in there. You ARE a good mom!

happygeek said...

Funny.
Mmmm.
I'm not good at the funny.
My kids have been doing my hair recently to help me make it more beautiful. The problem is that it usually does look better after a 2 and 4 year old have had at it, then when I do it.
Which is probably not funny, just pitiful.
The only other funny I got today, my strong, macho hubby who has a very male manly-type job, drinks herbal tea at his coffee breaks. Typically lemon and honey.
I usually break out in a rousing rendition of macho man whenever I see him grab a teabag. Because I am supportive like that.

Jenn said...

Sorry, I don't have anything funny to contribute to lift you up today, but I did want to let you know that you are not alone. I have days when I feel like I have failed my children miserably. Thankfully we have a God who we can turn to. He understands our feelings and He loves us unconditionally.

LisAway said...

Uplifting? Maybe not. Encouraging? Absolutely. I screams "YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE!" to all of your readers. I remember the three year old change over. I think it's chronic but not permanent. (is that right? Chronic means it keeps coming back?)

And tonight my husband told me a quote from Winston Churchill that he heard on the radio today it's something like, "A good politician needs to be able to do two things: 1) Tell what will happen in the next day, week and year, and 2) Explain why those things didn't happen.

LisAway said...

Not "I screams". It screams. And it doesn't even actually really scream at all. Like it's not loud or anything.

Alicia W. said...

I am having a similar day. Not the same day, but a similar one. A day where I just want to throw a tantrum myself. Stomping feet and growling included. Here's a joke for you. It always makes me smile and I hope you will, too:
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick!

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Oh dear. I am so sorry you're having a very trying day, to say the least. Hang in there, Heather. It's a rough gig, but God knew/knows you can do it. He's helping you. And as far as dogs tip-toeing, I may try to teach Zoe real quick-like just to cheer you up. Anyway, if you haven't visited my site today, it might make you chuckle. Or wonder about my sanity and therefore feel better about your own.

Heidi Ashworth said...

Honestly, the funniest joke I ever heard was the one Kristina said about Pooh. And there is one other that has me so crying hysterically with laughter that I can't remember the ending or even speak or type. So, that's all I've got. Wait--you should check out the two posts I put up today b/c they are pretty funny--you'll see what I mean when you get there.

Rachel said...

Oh Miles, thank you for putting to words to the fear in your mama's heart, so that she could write it out and realize that it is all wrong. She is s good mama and you sound like a boy who needs a rest time.

As for a joke, I'll share Ava's new favorite:
Q. What does an apple tree say when someone picks an apple?
A. Hey! Stop picking on me!

Hope it made you smile!

Heidi Ashworth said...

I'm not taking credit for the funniness. You'll see what I mean when you get there. (And hang in there! It is hard, so very very hard to parent kids! It does get better, honest!)

K and/or K said...

You made me laugh with your opening line "freak out!" Now do the actions!

My home's in Montana...I wear a bandana... sing along! :-)

Erin said...

My son came home from his Valentine's party today, after eating a cupcake and a cookie laced with sugar crack, ate a ring pop, and then asked for some ice cream. And what do I do? Let him eat it while watching SpongeBob.

Some days you just do what you have to do.

Sarah said...

I've got only about 2 jokes... but they make me laugh every time:

What did Godzilla say after he ate Hawaii?

I want Samoa!

and...

Why did the tomato blush?

He saw the salad dressing!

I'm telling you, I'm laughing over here now. I hope your day gets better. It's Friday the 13th... maybe that's part of it?

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Oh god - I think I spend half my time feeling guilty about not being the kind of mother I want to be... And worrying about Oliver's delayed speech. And worrying that I'm spoiling the twins by still treating them like babies (because they're MY babies)... But then I have a good day and everything looks better.

Hope you have a good day tomorrow to make up for today.

Tooj said...

I always thought my kids wouldn't have these phases either! LOL My 4 year old was sooooo good all through 2 and 3 years of age...and then....4 hit. He confuses me as well. And I think my baby cusses at me. I am NOT kidding....he sees me after his first week at daycare and YELLS. "BAAAHHH BAAAAHHH GAAAA!" I interpret this to be "B, why'd you leave me here?"

3 Bay B Chicks said...

Sweetie, if I could call you on the phone today, I would...in a heartbeat. I SO feel your pain. Yesterday, when I was at Giancarlo's pre-school, yelling at him in the parking lot and getting death stares from the on-looking parents, I thought, is this me? Is this what I have become? Oh, damn it, I guess it is.

Every Mom needs a break. A chance to recharge and gain back her self-composure. It doesn't always when we need it to, does it?

My suggestion: Start drinking more and read what I posted today. I am sure it will make you smile.

If it doesn't, head over to the freezer and drown your sorrows in the ice-cream. It is going to be a while before you put the kids to bed.

Stay strong!
Francesca

Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

As I type this comment my 3 1/2 year old is standing next to me screaming "I want it I want it I want it" about his brothers valentines candy he brought home from school. I threw it on top the fridge where NO ONE can have it.

On a side note, my hair is literally an afro today. And I don't know if you've ever noticed or not, but this particular hairstyle is not attractive on a 31 year old pasty white midwesterner...it's just not.

Love ya bloggy friend!

Elizabeth said...

I can only remember one joke at a time, and they are always from the most recent Laffy Taffy I've eaten. The other day's was this:

How does a dinosaur come out of pool?

Wet!

Ha ha, I know you're laughing hysterically. I hope your day gets better and we all laugh at it tomorrow. Love you!

JustRandi said...

So sorry you're having one of those days. You're a great mom, Heather!

Come hang out at Friday Flair for a few minutes!

LexiconLuvr said...

My hubby loves this one:

What's blue and smells like red paint?

Blue Paint.

Kinda lame, I know but he still cracks up like a loony.

AMEN, Heather! But you're one step ahead of me--you're consistently blogging about your love of kids and life and others. I'm consistently proving to be "worse than my mother" was and secretly glad that Satan's stoking the hellfire for me because I'll get some alone time. Be kind to yourself. You'd cut me a break, right? You deserve to have that same kind of love for yourself too. You're awesome, Heather. Really. You're a beacon to me. Keep shinin' on.

BaronessBlack said...

SO with you! We had a week of being snowed in, followed by four days of Phoebe being sick. When I took her to the Doctor, they picked up on the fact that she had conjunctivitis (which I hadn't noticed!). Trying to get the eye drops in four times a day now constitutes the main entertainment. With her running away, me in hot pursuit, her getting more and more wound up, screaming, kicking, biting, and eventually vomiting - so now we have to stay at home another day! And so the winter wears on.....

Now the joke;
Two nuns driving through Transylvania, when suddenly a vampire pops up and knocks on the window.
The first nun says;'Quick Sister show him your cross!'
So the second nun turns to the vampire and shouts 'RIGHT! I'VE HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOU BLOODSUCKERS!.....

(Doesn't work so well in print cos it needs the you're/your bit. Still, worth a try!)

Kazzy said...

Because of circumstances beyond my control I never had more than two preschoolers at a time, and I think the Lord knew it would have been hard for me.

Tough days come, but at least you are there with them. Miles could be cussing out someone else. Wait...

Lara said...

Actually, this was an uplifting and encouraging post because too often I feel like I'm the only one that has these kinds of days and the only one with kids who tell me that I am ruining them.

Hang in there, and so will I!

The Three 22nds said...

Thanks for the post! It is good to know other people have those days too...

I have nothing funny for you.

But, it may be good to know that we have had the stomach flu too...it is going around...could be that. Not that cleaning up vomit is postive for any reason.

Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting said...

I love you! How's that, better? :)

Turn on music. Don't know why, but it always works. Get 'em dancin'.

I hope Asher isn't sick :(

Homesteading said...

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground Beef!

My kids crack up over that one every time:)

Ps~The fact you are so worried about it shows what a great mom you are.

Peanut said...

I have so many days like that. Monday, after working a nightshift and only getting a couple hours of sleep, I threw a complete temper tantrum. Throwing stuff, slamming doors. I just love the modeling I was doing for my daughter. Here's how not to behave!
I find it so hard to find the balance between being the mom I want to be and getting done everything I have to get done. Yes, it takes so much longer with the kids. Lately I've been glad that I have a tiny kitchen because I cook supper with jj holding on to both of my legs the entire time... crying most of it to be picked up. Imagine me waddling in my kitchen like a penguin...that's about accurate. Yet if I just focus on the kids for a day, nothing gets done and I'm miserable at the end of the day because I'm so overwhelmed. Where is the balance?
I've got nothing new to make you laugh except to remind you of the story of my nephew getting the potty stuck around his neck. Imagine him sitting on the couch for two hours like that, being fed jelly beans so he'd stay calm, my SIL watching the clock waiting for my brother to get home and rescue them.

Corinne said...

I've had a week of those days this week!

We'll look back at these days and laugh. I hope! That's what I tell myself.

Something funny... hmmm... my toddler decided today was the day to put all of my pots and pans on the coffee table. That was fine, I don't mind if he plays with them. Then he found a mini frying pan. And tried to use it as a drum stick while beating on the pots and pans...

.... during my six month old's nap time...

he had no idea why I was mad :) Silly silly boy! Hope that made you chuckle a little, I know I laugh thinking about it!

Keyona said...

Knock Knock?

Who's There?

Boo.

Boo Who?

Don't cry you're a great mom!

We all have those days, just remind yourself that there is no such thing as perfect, at least as far as parenting.

Chin up! Chip Chip Cheerio!

RosyRose said...

I'm sorry about the frustrating day! So glad to know you're like me and these days come but don't stay:)!!!
You know what? I think 3 and 4 is sometimes harder then 2's! They get this idea in their little heads that they really are pretty grown up.....Believe me,,,,he is not ruined!:)
sometimes it's just good to laugh out loud in the middle of the stress! Try to find the funny!It really does do something for me!
Happy Valentines Day friend!

pam at beyondjustmom said...

Yes, it's uplifting, because you are human, and you are real, and we love you for putting it all out there. 'Cause we need to hear it too. You are a great mom because you care.

FYI, when they offered all day kindergarten for my middle soon, I said HECK yes because I realized I would not be providing educational enrichment every afternoon, but either making him stay in his room or plugging in videos so I could survive while the littler one napped. You're not alone!

minnesotamom said...

Heather, you are always the one encouraging and uplifting US, telling us that we don't need to be perfect, that God loves us where we are, to have grace with ourselves. Today, we're turning the tables on you! You're a GREAT mom, you have GREAT kids, and everyone just has their day/week/month. Miles will flourish because of your consistency with him, even if it seems hard at the time. And Asher could not have more caring and loving parents. Worry is natural in his situation, and I think you're handling it beautifully.

And someday, this will be true of you, believer:

"The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."

(Zeph. 3:17)

Jenna said...

heather, YOU ROCK! you are not alone. i'm feeling ya. big time. red wine really does help. this too shall pass. ;)

Francesca said...

Heather!
only just read your post and by the time u read this you are hopefully feeling better. or maybe not...
maybe you went to bed with the same mood, a migraine and with your husband coming on to you for sex ;-)
cos u know, THAT is all we need after one of the days you had yesterday
Chin Up buttercup. bad days good days. yesterday was bad, tomorrow will be good and if it isn't the next day will be andif that one isn't the one after will be.
Love ya
keep writing
Fran xx

Wendi @ Every Day Miracles said...

K's favorite: "Why did the bee go to the doctor?
Because he had hives!"

Good good stuff!! :)

I love ya and get this and understand and have been there - lots.

I won't bring you down with lots of shunt talk, but if you ever have questions feel very free to contact me. We've been throguh about 50 false alarms and one true shunt failure, so I have a pretty good idea of what to look for. :)

charrette said...

Heather, this is EXACTLY how i felt at Christmastime last year! So sorry you're having a bad mom-day today! (Or was that yesterday...my feed is SO SLOW!) Anyway, I can relate to every single thing you described here, and have been going through my own self-doubt regarding my ability to be a good mother...until a friend told me to STOP IT NOW. She said, (not to get melodramatic or anything) that that is one of Satan's tools (to make us think we're not good mothers) and a merciful God remembers and records all the GOOD we do.

Okay, dropping that topic now because I really logged on to tell you a dumb joke and show you a funny video (that I'm putting in my next post, whenever that is.) :)

Why don't you take Pokemon to the bathroom with you? Because he might Pikachu! (That's one from the kids that actually made me laugh out loud.)

And here's a link to that 1-minute video. You and your dog will totally have a good laugh over it. (And by the way, we all think you're super cool!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Usyr0eMshg

Angie said...

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.

'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked.

'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.

'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?'

That's in honor of our deep thinking lines. :)

I'm sorry you had such a bad day... trust me, you're not alone. My oldest is a strong-willed child with a capital STRONG, and the battles we have fought make me tired just thinking about them. It's exhausting, but it's so worth it. :)

Praying you have a better day today.

Melanie J said...

Well, I'm bummed I missed the party...but maybe better late than never, right?

Uh, okay...I went to a restaurant where I cooked my own food last night...and paid a hundred bucks for the privilege.

Nice.

Jessica said...

This sounds like me Every Day. And I always wonder how YOU manage to stay so joyful! You're doing a great job. I only wish I could be as positive and fun as you, Mom!

Jessica said...

This sounds like me Every Day. And I always wonder how YOU manage to stay so joyful! You're doing a great job. I only wish I could be as positive and fun as you, Mom!

Jessica said...

This sounds like me Every Day. And I always wonder how YOU manage to stay so joyful! You're doing a great job. I only wish I could be as positive and fun as you, Mom!

Jessica said...

This sounds like me Every Day. And I always wonder how YOU manage to stay so joyful! You're doing a great job. I only wish I could be as positive and fun as you, Mom!

Jessica said...

This sounds like me Every Day. And I always wonder how YOU manage to stay so joyful! You're doing a great job. I only wish I could be as positive and fun as you, Mom!

Kim said...

Oh how I detest those days. It's all we can do to hope we just ruin our children isn't it? My kids don't understand the concept of quiet time either. Ok, Amelia doesn't, Seth is starting to get it. I like 4.5 a lot more than I liked 2 or 3. He is a lot more fun these days.
So, I tell you there is hope, there is light at the end of the tunnel. The terrible 2's and tiresome 3's don't last forever!!!

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Ivan.
Ivan Who?
Ivan workin' on the railroad all the live long day.

Joke courtesy of Super Why. It's all I've got today ;)

That Girl in Brazil said...

I loved your mantra. I need to tattoo it on my forehead.

And if you figure out how to deal with the boy who has taken over your son's body, let me know.

Kimberly said...

Today I'm feeling pretty darn sick. Emma piped up. "I know why you're sick mommy! You ate too much food and got too big and THAT'S why you're sick."

Sigh.

The bad days are as important as the good, I think. They humble us. They teach us how good the good days are. They help us appear real and human to the potential friends who'd otherwise be too intimidated by our wonderfulness to even say hi.

Still...

Sigh.

MoziEsmé said...

i'm with you. i've got a sick kid who won't sleep unless i'm holding her and is completely miserable. and i feel guilty for wanting a break when i see how pitiful she looks.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Yup, I've been there. Gazillion times. Let's see...how about this one?

Life always goes better when you embrace the craziness.

Kristen said...

Oh girl I'm so sorry. This sounds like a day in the life. Maybe you should watch that kid on youtube who just left the dentist??? It makes me laugh . . .

Megan@SortaCrunchy said...

Making me ruined. Yep, I totally get this. It will all get done? Really? Promise? 'Cause right now it's not lookin' good . . .

The Mom said...

I think it's the weather. My kids are driving me nuts. I can't wait for it to warm up so they can go outside for longer periods of time!

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