Stellan's pull

So many of you know Stellan. If you do, you've probably heard that he's not doing very well tonight.

The last time he was in the hospital, I had the chance to sit and talk with his MckMama while Stellan slept in his tiny hospital bed. (MckMama and I went to the same college, and then blog-met. In person, I instantly felt at ease and comfortable. A friendship like an old shoe.)

Then a couple of weeks ago, I got to hang out with Stellan again, at his home. This time, I held him while his MckMama threw together a snack for her kids and mine. I somehow detached his little heart monitor and sort of panicked. But she didn't, she simply fixed it, all ease and fluid motion.

Later, she and Prince Charming (her husband) fed the MSC (Many Small Children-they have four:four years old and under-no, no twins) and gave them a bath. It was an assembly line, a flourish of surprisingly easy-going activity. Part-way through the nightly routine, Stellan was sitting on the couch, wrapped in a towel and watching me closely. Every time I turned from my job of keeping Asher on a stool, I saw that big dimpled smile, the blue eyes gleaming at me. When Asher was done eating and off the stool, I just had to go pick up that baby.

Oh Stellan, full of peace...

He has a pull. You know, the baby pull. But with him, I have to say it's more. It's not because he's an internet sensation. He's an internet sensation because he's got that extra something, the thing I can't quite describe. (And he's also a sensation because his MckMama has a really great sense of humor, writing style, and a heart of gold. She shares it all on her blog, and it's just the most endearing and uplifting place to visit.)

Anyway, after out latest visit I had to text MckMama and tell her that Stellan really is something special. I wanted to say more but I couldn't really figure out what to say. I wish there were more words than that to describe his pull.

But who can give words to the spiritual experiences they have? The holy people they meet? The divine moments laid out in the perfect place at the perfect time?

I can't.

All I really know right now is that I want Stellan to live. I want healing for his heart, more blue for his eyes, and more smiles for his dimples.

Because of Stellan's pull and my lack of words about that, I can do nothing but pray, because that's something that doesn't require all the right words. Stellan is much like the God I can't describe, with a love and peace so real it defies language, especially in the midst of pain and sorrow.