He was so excited to go, but when it came right down to being left on that field with all the other little gloved T-ballers, he just wasn't so sure. So he was the one, the one that battled his nerves and fought back tears. The one who didn't follow when asked to run. The one playing in the sand to avoid the unknown. I wanted to hover, to push, to control the situation. I wanted to take his nerves and add them to mine, leaving him peaceful and confident. But I couldn't, so I just waited, and watched from afar, hoping...
He stood at the back, silent, small nervous movements, chewing nails and hiding under that visor. Kicking at the dirt and peeking out the side. So unsure. So new. So hard. They asked him to warm up with running and with stretching. He stood frozen in his fear, motionless and chilled.
But just as they always do, when we give them time, the fears started lifting and the ball started soaring and the feet started running. The boy started listening, and he started talking. He was stretched and then he was warmed.
We were waiting and watching and we felt so far away. We felt it all with him, and we waited and we watched and we hoped.
He came home laughing and smiling and talking and quite pleased with himself. He pushed through the hard things, the overcoming of the many fears. It was a beautiful thing.
I showed him this picture and he said, "Look at those clouds where I was running." Yes, they're definitely a beautiful thing. Miles, I love your sweet, sensitive spirit. Take all the time you need to warm up. After some time, the hard things turn beautiful, just like those clouds.
This post is a part of Tuesdays Unwrapped at Chatting at the Sky
(Chatting at the Sky is a must-see-must-read blog, by the way-beautiful!)
(Chatting at the Sky is a must-see-must-read blog, by the way-beautiful!)
35 clicked right here to comment:
REPEAT!
I'm already sappy enough. I do not need more goose-bumpy moments. And yet...I come back here and get more EVERY TIME. (Love it, yada yada yada).
Beautiful writing--and that last photo? Amazing~
Blessings!
I felt much the same way when all of my kids started, but most recently when my 5-year-old, at that time 4, played soccer for the first time. You gave me goosebumps remembering it. Thank you for letting us in to experience this with you, and to let me re-live my son's first time recently :)
This is so beautiful. This is one of the greatest things we teach our kids. To push through the hard things. That we'll be there for them, encouraging them all the while, but they really can do so very much on their own. So bittersweet, but mostly sweet. =)
what a gift you shared, to a mom 's heart that has known that , to your son for feeling your strength just far enough to reach out to , and in the bigger picture moment of timeless family love.
Your writing skills are amazing.
Sigh. Way to go, Miles. :)
Those steps to independence are so bittersweet!
Those moments always get me! I have to keep reminding myself that it is my job to cultivate independence - when sometimes all I really want to do is shelter them, protect them, keep them from feeling uncomfortable and insecure.
This was an awesome post! In fact - you inspired me. :) I went to the link you posted and I linked up with my own "Tuesdays unwrapped" post. You inspirational lady you! :)
And you are right - what a beautiful blog and blog design!
Lovely lovely lovely...it's all I can say.
That was so precious!
I have one child who is like that, and it is terribly hard as a parent not to push and worry. She usually comes around with most things, though. Miles will be running on the field before the end of the season (and probably by the next game)!
I LOVE the sky in that last picture. Absolutely amazing.
You are an AMAZING writer. I wish I had the gift of writting--but alas I don't. This was a BEAUTIFUL post!!
Oh how I can relate to this. My son is also timid in the sense of being nervous of the unknown. How can I blame him? He got his genes from me! Like you, I want to get in there and *help*, all the while knowing that it's best for me to sit still and let him be.
It's SCARY being out in left field, is all I'm saying.
sometimes it is so hard to sit on the sidelines and watch... try to direct from afar. as i read i could feel myself squirming in my seat... the way i would when we would sit adn watch our own son. yep, sometimes it is hard to warm up... but it is always worth the wait, to see them come into their own... on their own terms!
Beautiful story! Thanks for sharing!
Interestingly enough, my son has just had an amazing "break-through" this past school year. He was much the same- timid, unsure, awkward, yet so much wanting to be involved. He is now 11. It was a long time coming, but he "stepped up to the plate," and continues to make me proud. Great story-btw thanks for your comment on my blog. :)
Your pictures just astound me. WOW. You're good. Both with words, images, and emotions. Thank you!
it's hard to watch our babies struggle to take flight sometimes. great post!
That was just so lyrically beautiful...
I have one like that. He always takes a while to warm up. And like you, I LOVE it about him. He's such a sensitive guy. It makes my heart happy.
And so did your post. :)
How do you make everything in life so poetic and beautiful?
Awww. I remember those days of watching my oldest do all of those milestone things. Even the smallest ones are heart-wrenching, huh?
Oh I just love this. My William was like this when he was 3ish. Had to have his big sister with him for everything.
Next week he is going to basketball camp...all by himself. He's changed so much.
I love how you wrote this. What a sweet little boy you have. :)
They are pretty clouds--and that sounds exactly like something my two would fixate on!
~ Sarah
Thanks for visiting my site! Beautiful photos and you are a very talented writer. I'm adding you to my blog list.
Waiting and watching their first moments of interacting in a capacity such as this was heart wrenching. I had to keep myself on the other side of the fence, I had to hope he'd stand up for himself when the "mean" kid kicked down his cones.....I had to....AGH. It was hard. Nice pictures.
There are many times when I feel like I need to intervene on my son's behalf. To take control of the situation for his enjoyment or protection, like you described. I think one of the hardest things about being a mom is not doing so.
It is tough, but the reward to staying on the sidelines can be great.
-Francesca
It's me again. Just wanted you to know I have a monthly blog highlight on my sidebar. I pick a blog I've come to love and tell all my readers to go and see it. For July, you are my highlight. :)
Oh just lovely. Thank you.
Such a beautiful description. I love how tuned-in you are to all his emotion and insecurity. I think he gets his sweet spot from YOU.
I'm telling you - that Miles is going to be something important when he grows up. Not that he isn't important now. He is. Oh, you know what I mean!
beautiful! :)
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