7/30/09

Foot in Mouth Disease

Thursday~July 30, 2009

I kept tripping out of the bathroom at the hotel last weekend. There was the tiniest raised area in the doorway, and I would catch my shoe or my bare toes on it nearly every time I tried to walk through it. My lovely BlogHer roommate Kim just plain got used to it, me flopping into the closet door mid-sentence and then laughing hysterically at myself. That's me, people. I'm clumsy and scattered, and I have a gift for completely humiliating myself in general.

Most of the time I do it with my mouth though, not my feet.

I wasn't really nervous to meet bloggers that I respect beforehand, but for some reason, I'd still get all weird when I would find myself standing in front of certain people, grinning and trying to think of something to say.

Anyway, because my friend Jennifer wasn't able to attend BlogHer as planned due to Stellan's health, she passed on a job to me. I was to hand out 300 flash drives and let people know that they could be the one lucky winner of $300. I did a fine job if I do say so myself.

Most of the time.

There just happened to be two instances in which my nerves got the best of me. In those moments, I ended up thrusting the flash drives under noses and barking out a strange explanation.

One of these instances occurred at a party, when I handed a small flash drive that looks like a lighter to Megan of Velveteen Mind and Blog Nosh Magazine (who I happen to adore) as she was in mid-sentence, talking to someone else. After interrupting, I spouted off something like, "Look at it and see if it has 300 dollars on it." This totally uninformative and confusing sentence left her guessing of course, so she said something like, "Excuse me?" Which made me laugh (at myself) (maniacally) while I tried to explain again. Which meant I said something like, "You stick it in and watch this thing and then it tells you if you won $300." Which of course made her have to say, "Stick it in where?" Which of course brought me to saying, "OH! Your computer! It's not a lighter." (Because that's obviously what you say when asked about a flash drive.)

And then I walked away.

And now I laugh at myself just like I did every time I fell out of the hotel bathroom.

By the way, I did this same thing to Scary Mommy. (Who I also happen to adore.)

Both of these women are so lovely, and I know that they're just regular women with lives full of tripping and fumbling around, but still I must roll my eyes at myself for being such a bumbling idiot. What else can I do?

It's all good though, really. You know why? Everyone at BlogHer knew who I was. Or...well, they knew who they thought I looked like anyway. Let me explain...

An actual conversation at BlogHer for me would go something like,"What's your blog?" Then I would answer and the person would stare at me blankly, and then there would be an awkward silence followed by me saying something like, "It's OK that you haven't heard of it. There are a whole lot of blogs out there." Which would cause a visible sigh of relief. AND THEN...it almost never failed...The person I was talking to would inevitably say, at some point...


"I can't believe how much you look like Maggie Gyllenhaal..."

Or, "You look exactly like Maggie Gyllenhaal..."




REALLY?


Before BlogHer I had only been told I look like Maggie one time in my life. But during BlogHer, I'm pretty sure I was told I look like her 564 times. I'm not really sure what the deal was. Maybe it was a big elaborate prank devised by someone who hates me. Or...I did get a haircut. Maybe that's it...



(Seriously. Can you believe Ryan and I took the time to take this photo?)
(You should have seen me struggling to get my arms like Maggie's.)


Lee and Deb and I had a whole lot of fun with the whole Maggie G. thing, let me tell you. I'm pretty sure we had our server totally fooled during lunch on Sunday. Poor guy. He thinks he met Maggie Gyllenhaal when it was really just foot-in-her-mouth-clumsy-old me.


58 clicked right here to comment:

Ryan said...

Loved the part about passing out the flash drives. With that one lady it may have been more useful to just chuck the thing in the trash... but that doesn't make for a hilarious story, so never mind.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

I feel for you because I totally would have been the same! I hate when you get to fumbling because it's hard to work your way out of it.

Annie said...

You know what? She'll be happy you interupted if she wins $300, Maggie lookalike!

Haley said...

I was often awkward talking with people myself.

BlogHer was filled with people I respect and so I know just what you mean.

I LOVE your Maggie look alike photo! Very cool. And for the record, you do look like her a little, but I didn't say it. :-)

Susan B. said...

Cute Photo! You do look like her :) and OMG I am a fumbling idiot most of the time! I have been known to write things down on a napkin so I remember what to say.

Eowyn said...

I wish I had been standing next to you the whole time. I would have laughed with you.

And the haircut is super cute!

Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

I adore you :)

Sheryl said...

wow...not a bad person to look like. LUCKY!!!

sounds you like had great fun and maybe even some had fun at your expense. love hearing that others bumble over their words. i am famous for it!!

glad you're back and thanks for stopping by already. your encouragement (as you know) means the world to me.

Ronda's Rants said...

You are adorable...and you do look like her!...or she looks like you! :)

Megan {Velveteen Mind} said...

I like how you left out the part of how I then proceeded to sit next to you in a session the next day and say "The Extraordinary Ordinary! I want a card!" and then you had to remind me that we'd already met. Crap.

By the time Friday night rolled around, I was so lost and tired, you could have told me that the flash drive was $300 and I would have looked at you slightly blankly. On the upside, I would have proceeded to have a conversation with you anyway, even in my stupor. Aaaaand I'm not even sure that I was thinking that you knew who I was, I was probably just happy you were talking to me at a party where I felt like I didn't know anyone.

Oh, and if you don't interrupt people mid-sentence (during conversations they aren't necessarily having with you), none of us would ever talk to anyone. That's the way it goes at BlogHer, right?

Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting said...

You are the cutest thing EVAH

I wish I had been there with you *sigh*

however, I saw this on Facebook and saw the picture of Maggie and instead, I said to myself "Wow, Maggie looks like Heather!"

So, there.

K and/or K said...

Love the photo--I like seeing this playful side of Heather!

More celeb look alike photos please! :-)

Christy said...

Oh my gosh I am cracking up over here. SO FREAKING FUNNY! I am the same way - I hate when I do that, but I simply can't help it. Thank you so much for this burst of laughter today - I love it!

Heather of the EO said...

Oh look...Megan stopped by! Isn't she so nice to say all those reassuring things...

(I'm still pretty sure I totally acted like a freak)

Megan@SortaCrunchy said...

Well, I was just going to say at least it was someone like Megan who I happen to think is just the COOLEST and so laid-back, and see, she already stopped by to comment on the story!

You DO look like Maggie G! CRAZY. you are so cute and funny. Wish WE could have been roomies. Wish I could have been there.

Midwest Mommy said...

You are a doll! I love that you posed yourself like her (that really is you in the second pic right?)
Oh and about those flashdrive things, do they not work with macs? Because I totally have not been able to get any to work. Strange.

Dave said...

This post is full of many lawlz!!

Th-x!!

Jenn @ A Country Girl's Ramblings said...

I'm so happy to know I'm not the only one who gets tongue tied! You definitely made me laugh and I think its great that you could laugh at yourself!

Chele said...

Just let me say this... don't ever change! We love you the way you are! Your posts always makes me smile :)

Heather of the EO said...

Midwest Mommy,
You know, they didn't work for Kim at the hotel either! She has a mac. I'm not sure what the deal is. I'll do some sleuthing...

And YES, it's ME ya goof. Do I look that different? What does this mean? :)

Sabrina said...

I love you heather!
And yes, Maggie G does look like YOU!!! :)

MommyJ said...

Oh dear. I've posted before about my excellent ability to stick my foot in my mouth. My biggest problem is that once it's in there, I DON'T STOP TALKING! It just keeps getting worse. I dig a pit. I climb in. Then I pull shovel after shovel of dirt down on top of me, all the while smiling awkwardly, laughing way too much, and making totally random, not really funny jokes to ease the tension.

"Is she alright?" People ask as they walk away.

No. No I am not.

Melanie J said...

Oh, this is sooooo something I would do. In fact, it sounds just like me when I went to a recent writing conference and met people like Annette and acted like a total doofus.

april said...

I'm clumsy too.

I've met a few celebrities and every single time, I've sounded like a complete idiot. Go me.

PS. I heart you!!

minnesotamom said...

I don't know that I would have put that together...honestly, I think you're prettier than Maggie G. I get told (in spurts, oddly) that I look like Kelly McGillis (in Top Gun times), but I don't really see that, either. I do have heavy brows for a blonde... :)

L.T. Elliot said...

You DO look like Maggie! Wow! That's amazing and that picture looks JUST like you/her with different hair color! Of course, I've always known you were smokin' hot.

Aidan Donnelley Rowley said...

Love this. You do kind of look like Maggie. Which is a compliment! A big one! Signed, someone who has been told she looks like Tara Reid, Britney Spears, Renee Zelwegger, and Kim Cattrall. {Okay, do I look like need rehab? Do I look 20ish or 50ish? Beats me. At least I am blonde! I guess}. Can't wait to attend BlogHer next year and see who people think I look like. Alas, the countdown begins.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

I love that you and Ryan made that copycat picture. You look GREAT.

Unfortunately I do stuff like this at every event: PTO meetings, trips to the grocery store, standing in line at the amusement park. I've embraced my awkwardness. :)

sara said...

You do look like her and I love that picture you took!!!! very fun!

I do this all the time...my words always tend to get ahead of my brain when I'm in situations like that!

Roban said...

You do look like Maggie.... and what a great photo you ended up with!

I've had the same awkward experiences (not looking like Maggie, by the way).... Recently I did some weird giggle laugh thing while shaking our pastor's hand at church. Now that was strange! I think I had kind of broken in front of someone who was moving too slow to suit me... and I felt goofy all of a sudden when I held out my hand.

Jen said...

If and when I go to BlogHer, I would be the same way if I met any 'famous' bloggers. I would just clam up and not say a word. Its impressive that you got words out even as fumbled as they were.

Carrie said...

This made me laugh so hard because it's definitely something I would do. :) I say the DUMBEST things, especially when leaving messages on answering machines.

Scary Mommy said...

Oh, you are deluded! All I thought about you is that you were absolutely adorable and that I wish I'd spent more time with you.

And you totally resemble Maggie, but you are much prettier. Much.

And, by the way, I did not win the $300. Having won would have been a much better ending to this comment. ;)

Willow Tree said...

When we met I was trying to think of her name, LOL, because I made the connection right away too. You might have been separated at birth. But I am clumsy of the mouth and didn't want to go bungle it. :)

Blessings,
Carolynn

Beth said...

I'm jealous you got to go to BlogHer, and it looks like you had SO MUCH FUN. I love the flash drive fiasco, sounds exactly like something I would do (the maniacal laugh!). And you totally DO look like Maggie G!

MsPicketToYou said...

I met you and Lee at the same time and fuck, I think I made that Maggie comment.

After much thought: you know who you look like?

This lovely blogger chick I met in Chicago. She was smart and funny and maybe a little quiet.

That's all.

Jami said...

I had no idea who Maggie Whatsherface was. I clicked the link and realized I'd just never seen any of her work. But having seen both pictures I have to say that she does look an awful lot like you.

I can't imagine saying anything 300 times and having it not come out gibberish at least a few times. I'm so glad you've got a great outlook regarding life's little blips.

Marisa said...

I get flustered and easily tongue-tied too! I'm sure your "flubs" put the other ladies at ease. We all love a girl we feel like we can be our true selves around!

H-Mama said...

Clumsy friends make the best friends. They have a way of keepin' it real. ;)

Hubby and I always say, "Take luck". ;) The comedian, Brian Regan, refers to it as a combo between "Take care" and "Good luck".

Nice pic! Well worth the effort. ;)

Aunt LoLo said...

Aww...that's awesome!

Oh, and I have the same disease...except I say "funny" things...that just come out rude. DOH.

Deb said...

so wait, mags... we're supposed to keep pretending your some lame mom from the midwest?? i thought you said once we got back to l.a., the stupid charade was over!

Vodka Mom said...

It's official. You are adorable.

Kelly @ Love Well said...

I would do that.

I would stub my toe repeatedly and then laugh loudly at myself. Repeatedly.

Must be why I like you so.

And that picture? Girl, you ROCK. You DO look like her.

Kazzy said...

Yeah, Maggie only WISHES she looked like you. I'll bet somewhere in Hollywood, at some swanky party, 564 people recently told her that she looks like the is lady that goes by Heather of the EO. Lucky her!

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

Um, because you totally look like Maggie Gyllenhaal.

Kim said...

Oh I wish I'd been at lunch with you guys, I bet that was hilarious!!!!

Love that picture of you. I bet Ryan wants to take it with him on all of his trips now too ;) You hot mama!

I loved your tripping all over the room, ok, I loved the crazy laughing fits that would come after it.

Miss you!

Lisa said...

That is hilarious that you did that picture.

I laugh at myself when i fall, stumble, etc, but worse, I laugh when I see other people do it. Its bad! Glad you mostly had a great time away.

S'dizzle said...

Now that I think about it you and Maggie bear resemblance. Awesome.

Christy said...

Holy cow you look gorgeous Heather! Wowzers!

♥georgie♥ said...

LOL...you.complete.me! LOVED this

Em said...

Awww. Every cute story makes me even more mad I wasn't there - we'll have New York!

Em said...

P.S. can I get Jake's phone number? You know, on the sly...

Rachel said...

Ha! You made me laugh out loud with your conversation with Ms. Velveteen. It totally sounds like something I would have done.

And you DO look like Maggie! Wow!

And now I must go dig out that flash drive that I TOTALLY forgot about and see if I won $300!!!

Debbie said...

I'm just thinking that if we were unbelievably lucky and got to go together next year, this scenario could be repeated day after day!

Adventures In Babywearing said...

Oh I love you. You are my Maggie. I hope I get to see you this month maybe?

Steph

Lee of MWOB said...

Oh Maggie - you are so clever. But I can't believe you are finally outing yourself that it is indeed YOU behind this blog that belongs to this "Heather!"

I thought you wanted to experience what life would be like as a normal everyday blogger chick and not the famous celebrity that you are??!!?

In any case, I am sooooooo glad I know the REAL Maggie. And I love her.

:-)

--It's Your Movie-- said...

I laughed so so hard about the flash drive thing, oh my gosh. It sounds so much like something I would do. Maggie is cute but you are cuter.

Tooj said...

Would it make you feel better to know I don't even know who Maggie is...but I know you? :) That's all I got today....

I love hearing your blogher stories. Please keep them coming. :) Happy Wednesday.

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