12/21/09

Blue


Monday~December 21st, 2009


I'll miss the colors of my room,
he mumbled, his eyes big with sad.

What honey? I looked in the rear view mirror, trying to figure out where the sad eyes came from.

I'll...miss...the...colors of my room I SAID. He said it like he wished I would have heard him the first time so he didn't have to feel silly for missing colors.

It came out of the blue and then there was a lump in my throat like his.

Yeah, I'll miss the color of my room too, Sweetie. Maybe we could paint your new room with the same colors you have now, the giraffe colors?

He was quiet for a while and so we drove along thinking. Then he said he wanted his new room to be blue.

Yes. Fresh paint in a new color. A fresh start. That's what we have.

. . .

We've been saying far too many tearful goodbyes, and then we go home and pack up our memories and things in boxes and swallow the lump in our throats.

This is a big change.

This is a good change.

Goodbye is hard.

39 clicked right here to comment:

Jo@Mylestones said...

Oh sweetie, I KNOW THIS FEELING. It is not easy. But for many (myself included), it's a big part of life. For us, it means starting over every 3-4 years. You'll be amazed at how quickly you start to feel "at home" in your new place. Mostly, because, while the colors on the wall change, the people around you do not. And they are what makes your home.

Boy Crazy said...

yes to what Jo said. HOME is where you feel loved and safe to be yourself. You will create that in your new house, too. Good luck with the move, hon.

Heather of the EO said...

Yes, my sweet friends. It will be OK and we will be together and that's all that really matters. We're just simply in the midst of hard goodbyes right now. Saying goodbye to paint and familiar things is just an aside to the painful goodbyes with close friends and family and neighbors. I love these people. I wish they could all come with.

warmchocmilk said...

You are brave to do this. You are strong, your family is strong. You will love your new home too. And new friends and neighbors too and being close to family.. it will all be good for you...but it IS hard, now.

Sarah said...

I went through this just 2 weeks ago. We had to go on goodbye walks, and I took FAR too many pictures and now I think he doesn't miss the old house, while I still sometimes mourn it. Once you're in you're new house it will start to get better. But it's no fun right now. And leaving the area is so hard.

Good luck!

Becca said...

Yes. To all of it. To the obvious missing of the stuff, and to the deeper missing of the reality. The place, the memories, the "us" that will linger in this piece of history and location. Good Momming to let him say it, as often as he needs to, and to show him that you feel it too.

Kimberly said...

The interval between old home and new home is the hardest place to live. It's a sort of limbo where you don't quite fit anywhere yet. Yet. That yet begets hope. The new sense of home is waiting just around the corner and while it might not feel like it in the midst of goodbyes, you're racing your way to it. You really are.

Kristina P. said...

We've been in our condo for over 4 years, and we've been planning on moving sometime in the next year. But when I actually think about doing it, it makes me sad.

Big hugs!

Dave said...

what about the tree?

I have memories of only one house growing up. I can't imagine what moving would be like to a little guy. Kind of makes me sad too :-)

Good luck!!

mrs boo radley said...

That was totally steeped in sweet.

deb said...

Thinking of you during this. We've only moved once as a family, leaving the street where 4 babies were born, a sister in law and 3 cousin, a park , and years of memories.
It was so bittersweet because we were doing it for all the right reasons, but it was still so hard. And I'm glad it was, because it meant we'd lived in a home, and that our lives there had mattered

sara said...

oh heather I am praying for you.

I have moved twice over the Christmas holidays and know how hard it is. I know it is probably too late for this, but I had all my kids friends and teachers sign a pillow case for them with sharpies. Then they had it on their pillow as we traveled and it was a comfort for them the first hard weeks of a new place! They actually still have those pillow cases!

Our last move over Christmas I had to leave my 17 year old daughter there to finish 3 weeks of school before she moved with us. No age is easy......but God is always good and in no time, you will be seeing what great blessings He has in store for you and for your boys!!!

(((hugs)))

L.T. Elliot said...

That last lingering moment, just as you leave a place that's been yours for so long--it's so hard. So many things happened there and you wonder if the memory stays when you vacate.
Mile's is pretty wise. I think blue will be a good color.

Roban said...

As a child of the Air Force, I had to move too many times! With each move, more of my things would be left behind.... I became a keeper-of-things because of this.

I think that "blue" is a lovely color to move into!

Sue said...

I know this feeling. (((Heather)))

Jen said...

Big hugs, sweetie.

Change is hard but just think of all the good things that will be waiting for you.

Kelly @ Love Well said...

We've moved often. I am intimately acquainted with the feelings you describe.

I often hope heaven will be like a big collection of my favorite things, where I get to have the best of EVERYTHING all at once, instead of having it pieced out a little at a time over the course of my life.

Baby Mama said...

What a little sweetheart. Goodbyes ARE hard. But I know blessings are just around the corner. I bet he will love his new blue room :)

Kristen@nosmallthing said...

Oh, is he sweet or what... I remember leaving our first house...where our first two children were born...where The Man carried me over the threshhold on our wedding day so we could begin our lives together. That was tough. But this new place is good. I love it.

I'm sure you'll love your new place, too. But you're right. Goodbyes are HARD.

Kristen@nosmallthing said...

Oh, and I read Jo's comment, and YES! Our new home felt so much like home, RIGHT after we moved in. It was all our stuff...and all our people. It was wonderful.

Corinne said...

Change is so hard, and moving is one of the hardest changes you can go through, especially with kids. Hugs to you lady. You're almost there.

Jessica said...

I think the leaving is always the hardest, but as soon as you pull away with your moving van you start looking forward, and that is exciting! I hope your move goes well!

Crooked Eyebrow said...

Good things and new colors are coming your way

Manic Mother said...

Aw how sweet! Congrats on the new home, and the new memories and paint to come!

kirsten said...

Change HURTS. Whether a good & welcomed thing, or an unwanted thing, it still hurts. When I had to leave the place I loved most in the world I felt that the bottom of my heart had fallen out, and would never close up. Yet, and yet: there has been much joy in my new life that laid undiscovered, and unvalued in those dark days. Your joy is still to come, even as you leave this joy behind.

Leah said...

I just started reading your blog, first the post about bending and then this one. You have such a beautiful way with words, both of these posts really resonated with me, thank you for sharing.

katdish said...

Aw, Heather! You know if I lived within 100 miles of you I would come and paint that room any way he wanted! Goodbyes are hard, but new beginnings are good, too.

Jamie @ Six Bricks High said...

Oh, Heather, goodbyes are hard. And change can be hard too. Praying for much good to come of it and for peace in the hard parts.

Anti-Supermom said...

Kids make transitions so much easier than we ever expect. He will be OK, both of you will.

Andy said...

nice posting dude

Kazzy said...

Sometimes changes feel like someone has ripped a part of us out and stuffed it back in. When I am anticipating a change, good or not-so-good, I wake up feeling sick to my stomach. You guys will always keep a little of your life you are leaving with you.

M is such a tender-hearted boy. Ever think of helping him to write his thoughts down in a journal?

Julie said...

I have often dreamed (past & present) of leaving the life I know, but reading this makes me want to take things more slowly - ponder the things around me before I jump into something new.

Stopping by from SITS. )
Have a blessed holiday!

Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting said...

If anyone knows this feeling, it's me. We couldn't bear to leave our last home. Now that we're finally feeling somewhat settled, we're halfway through this tour here, facing moving again in a year or so. Change is indeed hard, my friend. You all, however, are going to flourish in your new home. I can feel it.

Happy holidays, honey. I'm emailing you in a few.

Dedee said...

Suddenly I never want to move again. I have forgotten how painful it is. This post brought it all back.

I'll be praying for you!

Sabrina said...

Oh girl, I'm going to miss you a ton! But Kelly and I will be visiting you this summer for a special movie night!

Love you!

april said...

Good-bye is hard, but try to focus on the "hello".

{{HUGS}}

becca said...

It's interesting to hear what parts of their world kids are fondest of and will miss when they aren't there. I guess in the end, kids like "familiar" and consistency. I'm sure you will make your new home familiar quickly and there will be new excitement to take your minds off of what you miss. I wish you all good luck and happiness in your new home.

xo

Elaine A. said...

Blue sounds perfect. I know how you all feel...

kanishk said...

You will create that in your new house, too. Good luck with the move,

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