Peanuts

He is not a kid on a table or a boy looking up at his Mommy for a hug.
He is Snoopy and he's on his dog house and he can't wait to fly a plane with a cape.
He is pawing at Charlie Brown, begging for a treat.
I'm Charlie Brown.

This is fitting because I have a really hard time figuring out how to grow up.
I trust Lucy over and over and end up flat on my back while she laughs.

I have the imagination of a child and sometimes, when I should sit up and learn something,
it's like my teacher is going 'wa wa wa wa wa waaaa.'
My brain is too busy to take these lessons to heart.

I'm always thinking, just like that boy of mine, never taking things at face value,
always digging deeper. And at the end of the day, we're both terribly exhausted, the world finally dimming down, hiding at the loss of light, taking cover in the shadows.
The 'wa wa wa' becomes a slow and soft whiiir but never stops.

We rest fitfully, clenching and grinding and tossing and turning, vivid pictures dancing through our dreams, and then we're up again to a world that's blindingly bright because we take it all in, every detail, the slightest twitch of face easily read-she's sad, the softest of sounds too loud, echoing.

We feel it all in the deepest parts of who we are until we're too full to feel anything at all.
We are overstimulated emotion addicts gone dry.

I am so busy taking it all in and processing every part. He is so busy taking it all in and processing every part. He is perched on his red roof in the sun with eyes always wide open, not remembering to squint, and I am running and running and then kicking at a ball that isn't there, up and over I go with a thud while the thoughts continue to swirl.

We are Snoopy and Charlie Brown.

"...and for you and myself I will pray, let our weakness become our strength." - A lot like me by Sara Groves on her album Station Wagon-songs for parents