Everywhere

I am currently eating a bagel just as fast as I can.

Dear Digestive System,
please don't be mad, I'm in a hurry.
Love,
Overwhelmed

I leave for Utah in just 2 days. There I will be attending the Casual Blogger Conference and also doing a little speaking. Today I am kidless and working hard at preparing for the speaking and whitening my teeth. Because, you know, people might think my teeth are yellow while I'm waxing philosophical about blogging in front of them. Or something.

I've printed out my itinerary and the conference agenda and tickets for this and tickets for that and apparently this is really happening.

I shall now sit back and tell myself (burp) that everything is going to be just fine.

Yesterday I went to get loads of groceries in an effort to continue my job as wife and mother while I'm away. I was starting to feel the stress of traveling and public speaking and all of that, and for a while I sat in the grocery store parking lot, staring at its liquor store. I wasn't going to go in. I've made promises to myself and to my family and friends that I want to keep. But boy oh boy did I ever want white wine. Which makes no sense because I hardly ever drank white wine in my past alcoholic life. But it was so hot out and my stress level was rising and I had that dream about drinking white wine and it was so real. The dewy glass and the cold flow of bitter-sweet rushing to my veins. So real. And I wanted that dream to be real. Even though I know that if that dream were real, it would make me (and many others) very sad.

So I got out of my car and got fruit and meat and cheese instead. And while I stood in the checkout, I watched the little screen beeping through my items, adding up my purchases, and I wondered why there needed to be advertisements on the other half of the screen. This wine is on sale and that wine is on sale, and I will never taste it again.

It's everywhere. In books I read, people meeting up for margaritas. On TV, the way the lies are told, that drinking this or that form of booze will make you happy and maybe even thin. We all know that isn't true. I mean, I lost ten freaking pounds in a matter of days when I quit consuming an ungodly amount of wine. And my teeth are whiter now, too. For the record. Perhaps I don't need to whiten them before the conference after all....

Anywho. Like I said, it's everywhere, and I am everywhere, so I'm thinking I should just get used to it. Or start picketing or something. But not now, I need to go to Utah. In 2 days.

(Now is probably a good time to get prepared for my "presentations.")

What I'll think about while I work hard today is not wine, I will think about the lovely people I'm going to get to see and hear and laugh with. And I will know that I'm going to remember it all and be present and aware for it all, my veins filled with nothing but the blood pumping through them...and possibly, a whole lot of sugar.

Wish me well, friends! Even if you don't, I have a feeling this is going to be good. Even if the haircut I got the other day makes my head look like a very large mushroom.