Yes. Yet another Heather born in the 70's. Heather is one of my dearest friends, and she was married last weekend. It was a beautiful day full of bluegrass music and sun and friends and family. I love my Heather, and have since elementary school. We're Heather squared, or The Heathers.
The day before the wedding, I happened upon a new shoppe in the small town in which we live. I opened the door with low expectations. After all, this is rural Minnesota so let's just say the shopping is...limited.
And then a miracle occurred.
Well, okay. Maybe it wasn't a miracle. I mean, I don't even really LIKE shopping much at all. But do you wanna know what I do like? Knowing that all I have to do is go to ONE store and I will love everything and the prices won't make me ask why I'm supposed to give over my first born, and I might even feel giddy about the purchases I make. Which is not usually something I feel when shopping.
This is what I purchased
Friends, Miles took this photo, so if you're wondering if I'm shrinking or if my posture is even worse than it already was, no. I am trying to get myself hunkered down so he can get me in the photo. He's a good little photographer, but he's still short.
The dress? $40. The jewelry? $15 for all. Uh huh.
(Before I forget and the Blogging Gods strike me down, I will disclaim you-that's totally a phrase-and let you know that Lillian's is not paying me to share this information with you. I just want you to know because I love that place. You can click on the link to see if there's a location near you.)
Anyway. The dress is my favorite that I've ever purchased. Ever.
The reason we came across this fabulous new store is because we were at the outdoor market downtown, and there it was, right there, smiling at me-the Lillian's sign that led me to my favorite shoppe ever. I'm not just saying that. And also, I must mention the friendly and probably kind of scared of me staff. They rock. (Hi Stacey!)
We went back to the market this week, because we're smart and we know that it's there weekly. It wasn't as much fun at all, though. My boys were hopped up on sugar, which was totally my fault since I fed them sugar. Their ears weren't working and I brought them into Lillian's and they kept hiding in and under things. LOVE THAT. (sarcasm) So we went back outside and had more sugar. After that, for some reason, the boys were even crazier and so I said, "Alright then, we're leaving. If you can't listen we have to go now." So I stomped off with them slowly trailing behind. (That way, I could have a really good time calling over my shoulder KEEP WALKING. FOLLOW MOMMY.)
And then the opposite of a miracle happened. Something hit me in the head and I was all, OWWHATWASTHAT? My natural reaction was to put my hand on the spot that was bonked. What I found there surely surprised me.
More bird poop than should ever be found in anyone's hair, ever, that's what I found. It was down one side of my head and my pants, and now on my hand. I was stunned speechless.
We got back to the van, after walking another half a block while people slowed to stare at my head, and I started to hurriedly rifle through the perfectly clean and tidy (sarcasm) van for the wipes. I found them. And I used what was left of the package to try to pull poop out of my hair.
Prepare yourself for this next part...
There were worms in it.
Seriously. WHAT KIND OF BIRD WAS THIS? I never saw it, but I know this for sure...it was huge, and it has trouble with digestion.
So there I sat, trying to figure out how to drive while also concentrating on keeping my head tilted to the right to be sure my poop hair didn't touch my cheek.
I turned to pull out of my parking spot (in which I had parallel parked flawlessly, by.the.way.) and that's when I saw her, getting out of her car and heading toward the market. I honked, and with tilted head, I called out to her,
MOOOOOMMY!!!! (Okay, I didn't call her Mommy, I called her Mom...but I really wanted my Mommy.)
And then I did something I've never done before. I said the "S" word in front of both my children and my mom. Because friends, that IS what was in my hair and it was a bit traumatizing. So it just came out.
MOM, A BIRD S*#T ON MY HEAD.
She didn't even scold me or put soap in my mouth. She just cleaned the rest of the poop out and then totally freaked out when I showed her a worm in a wipe.
I love my Mommy.
Oh P.S. This is what I usually do when the boys have been given too much sugar and it's raining. Sorry, hardware store people...