2/8/11

focus


"Our lives are a collection of STORIES, truths about who we are, what we believe, what we come from, how we struggle and how we are strong. When we can let go of what people think, and OWN our story, we gain access to our worthiness-the feeling that we are ENOUGH just as we are, and that we are worthy of LOVE and BELONGING." - Brene Brown




I was trying to take pictures of them, Daddy and Asher, walking through the snow. But the screen was getting all caught up in the focus and I just didn't know how to make it stop doing that.

I ended up liking the photos anyway.


This made me think of that Brene Brown quote up there and the way that things may not look the way other people like to see them, but if they're yours or they're you, they are good and enough, just as they are.

I can't get the italics to shut off or stop in this post. I click on that i up at the top and the words just stay italicized. So maybe it doesn't look quite right, but it will be what it will be and that's okay.

I am like that too, that's the point I'm making. I am sometimes out of focus and sometimes that's led me into life things that took my breath away with their bad. And sometimes I just can't get myself to change and maybe I should just know that I'm okay, just like I am and be more gentle and patient with myself. If I believe in unconditional love and grace the way that I say I do...I see that most of the time I'm only battling what I think people think, not something that's actually wrong with me. When I feel like a screw-up and then I get sad and then I get lazy, I'm seeing through a screen that's too close to my face, you know? Judging myself out of insecurity or a fear of not being good enough.

It's good to sit up and pay attention and realize that. And then stop it. Just stop it.

There's not always something wrong with me, something glaringly awful to fix. Maybe I'm just me, living my story, and maybe the changes will come in their own time and even if they don't, I'm good.

I was just thinking about that...so I thought I'd tell you.






16 clicked right here to comment:

Kelly said...

Your words and images capture my mantra beautifully. My mantra which is "it's not my business what people think of me."

Because it's not. My business is being gentle with myself and those around me. My business is presenting myself to the world with the best intentions and living my life with honor and integrity.

My business is not what other people think of me. That's their business and I leave them to it.

Sabrina said...

When i read the sentence "There's not always something wrong with me, something glaringly awful to fix"

I read glaringly as glandular!

:)

Sharone said...

This post reminds me of the sermon I heard on Sunday, about how we get caught up in the stories we tell ourselves about who we are, and how awful we are, and all the things we do wrong, but that God doesn't take our stories about ourselves as His starting point. He wants to replace them with His own stories about us, stories of redemption and beauty and grace, and we need to be humble enough to hear and accept His stories instead of insisting on our own. We need to let ourselves be His workmanship.

It's such an important thing to remember. I'm trying to let go of these stories, myself, and I'm repeating your words to myself: "There's not always something wrong with me."

Melissa said...

So, so true. I can't remember the last time I felt really good about myself, but I can surely give you a list of all the things I'm doing wrong and that's no good - you're right. I have to take a few steps back from the screen, too. Thanks for this.

Allison @ Alli 'n Son said...

This is something that everyone should read. Maybe even print out and tape to the bathroom mirror. It's beautiful and perfectly imperfect, especially with the italics.

Kazzy said...

Self-acceptance almost always precedes outside acceptance.

I think the photos are awesome!

Christine said...

Isn't Brene awesome. I mean really. Have you read The Gifts of Imperfection, I remember saying to me that you should. And you should.

P.S. I want to get there..to "I'm good." God how I want to get there.
xo

Celeste said...

The Gifts of Imperfection is one of my favorite books. Ever. Brene is amazing. It's like she took everything I needed to hear and put it into one book. Still, it is hard to remember these things when living out my days. Even when I know their truth. At the end of of my morning yoga mini-sessions I repeat to myself, "Empathy, acceptance, patience: gentle loving-kindness". Sounds silly but it helps, especially with my children. Thanks for sharing.

Casey Freeland said...

I have no idea who Brene is, but I love love love the pictures, and the perma-italics.

Great post!

Casey

Jamie said...

"And sometimes I just can't get myself to change and maybe I should just know that I'm okay, just like I am and be more gentle and patient with myself. If I believe in unconditional love and grace the way that I say I do...I see that most of the time I'm only battling what I think people think, not something that's actually wrong with me."

That was my favorite part.

I have just recently relearned this truth. I am learning to stop pressuring myself and trusting myself instead :)

Lara said...

"I see that most of the time I'm only battling what I think people think, not something that's actually wrong with me."

So true, isn't it?

I also love that book, it changed my life. But there is always so much to work on. And it is okay to be out of focus sometimes, you're right.

work in progress said...

"I see that most of the time I'm only battling what I think people think, not something that's actually wrong with me."

Yes yes yes, Thanks for your honesty Makes me feel not so alone. (It's not just me.)

Cynthia said...

Absolutely! I won Brene's book "The Gifts of Imperfection" from Lara's blog. I loved the book! It's really helped me embrace my imperfections and not be shy about owning them. It takes self-esteem to our our not-so-impressive parts. To actually hold them out there knowing that we are secure enough in ourselves to withstand the judgment that will come from doing that. To be ME without thinking I should apologize. Woo for the imperfect parts- they are sort of the best part of who any of us are, it's all in how you look at it!

Angie said...

I'm so glad you shared what you were thinking. :)

Debbie said...

There are a few days in my life where I am the clarity to just let things go and accept whatever comes my way. Usually, I go kicking and screaming!

Ann Imig said...

"I was just thinking that so I thought I'd tell you"

Love.

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