This Do Will Not Do!

What have I done? I went to the nice hair-cutting lady and I said, "you can make it a little more severe than last time." What did I mean? I just meant a LITTLE. But she took it is an invitation to make me Posh Spice...or Victoria Beckam or whatever you want to call her. At first this was fine. Because she did my hair and it was all "cute and sassy," as my friend Cassie described it. But of course I then realized it would never look the same again because of that whole thing about stylists being the only ones who can do what they do. That wasn't even the worst part though. I went to bed and woke up with the worst bed head in years!!! This "do" will not do pillows! What do I do now? I can't go three days without showering and I need to sometimes! Unless I skip sleeping all-together! Or at least sleep sitting up, which has never worked for me anyway, not even in cars. So I'm not only going to walk around greasy, but now my hair will also look like Miles' after a three hour restless and sweaty nap!
This hair is just the right shortness for sticky-upiness. So if you see me in public and want to pretend you don't know me because I look like I might need a mental health evaluation, I totally understand. I'll wave and shout "hello"and I'll catch on when you pretend you don't know me. Then I'll just look even crazier than the hair implies so it will all flow quite nicely. Don't feel bad....