11/5/07

Parenting 101

First of all, before I forget. The pumpkin recipe from yesterday's post: It makes lots of batter, a little much for a loaf pan. I put it all in a regular larger sized loaf pan and it spilled over. So use your smarts if you make this recipe and don't put all the batter in one pan - maybe two smaller ones? I don't know, I'm clueless about that sort of thing.
Next, I want to give some props to some wonderful mothers in my life. I've learned endless amounts from my friend Kate, mother of Caleb-6 and Ella-5. She is an excellent mother. Mostly she teaches me how to respect my children, because after all, they are little people. My friend Carrie (mother of twin girls, Zoe and Eden-3) reminds me often that these little people are not robots. Sometimes you need to hear that when you're caught up in trying to get your kids to conquer this or that milestone. Or when you want them to be and act a certain way. Kate said something once that seems obvious but it's funny how many parents don't seem to get it. She said that children are not born to cater to their parents. They don't know what your schedule is. They are not trying to inconvenience you. They simply have to learn everything from scratch, including how to be respectful and handle their emotions. Imagine if we could remember our tiny years. We'd be traumatized by how overwhelming all the learning is! We're born not even knowing exactly how to eat, digest, see, smell, talk, poop, smile, pick up something, hold up our own head, etc.....
So essentially it's our job to cater to them. Of course a person should know this, but sometimes you forget when your kids don't want to listen, or be kind and respectful. It's frustrating, but it's also inevitable. It's easy to treat them poorly when this happens, but it's funny how that will come back to bite you when they start treating you and others poorly simply because they've seen you do it. To them. The reason this is on my mind is because I talked this morning to the other mom I want to mention. She's my Aunt Sandi and she and husband Tom have nine kids (I will not attempt ages, but they range from about 23 to the newest member who is almost two I think. I will tell you their names though cause they're great names and it's fun - Erica, Amber, Craig, Sam, Micah, Amos, Malachi, Grace, and Eli). Usually this number shocks people when I bring it up. To answer the usual question, no they aren't Catholic, they just love children like crazy. Just today Sandi and I talked about how people react and critisize her for having so many. She said something that made perfect sense to me. When people ask her if she's concerned about over-population she thinks this: Some people should have fifteen kids because they love it so much and are so kind, affectionate and loving toward their children that they turn out great. Other people should have no kids. I think she's right. There sure are a lot of people out there having kids who shouldn't. From crack babies to kids who are treated as an inconvenience to their parents to abuse situations, etc. I say more power to her, keep having babies!!! Because I've seen how sweet, caring and responsible her older children have turned out. I'm sure the others are on that same path because they know how loved they are and how much their parents love having them. They're super smart kids too. I don't know how she does it and still loves it. But I don't know of anything more deserving of respect. I struggle with TWO and she's got NINE. And every time I see or talk to her she's so HAPPY. It's inspiring. She wouldn't want this credit from me, that's another cool thing about her - no pride. If only people like my Aunt Sandi and Uncle Tom were allowed to have kids, our world would be much better for it. My Aunt Sandi, Kate and Carrie remind me to simply lavish love on my boys, spend time with them and treat them with the respect they deserve.
These women (and many more in my life) are some pretty smart cookies. I learn just by watching them and hearing their stories. It's a pretty great blessing to have them to go to with questions and concerns. So thank you, ladies!

Now for a Miles vocab. update:
twotur - turtle
carefor - careful
bi*sis*sul - bicycle
I love carefor because he'll say it like "I'm being carefor, mommy," as he's teetering on a stool or falling intentionally off the couch. What a perfect word for careful. Too cute. We should all be more carefor with each other (:

2 clicked right here to comment:

Sabrina said...

Oh, I want to meet your aunt! when i was in high school I used to tell people i was going to have 10 kids! people always thought i was crazy, but at 30, I still think i wouldn't mind having 10 kids! people still think i'm crazy! oh well, more power to the people reproducing!
also, great insight on parenting! you are a super star mom!

Kelly and Kyle Vlach said...

you are going to be the mom I blog about someday Heather! in a good way! seriously...what an awesome example I have in you...love it! i wish every mom shared your heart!

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