11/20/08

A File System

I've been spinning circles all morning, doing all I can to console a miserable little Asher, cleaning up, getting Miles off to preschool, and forgetting to let the dog out. I get all worked up, frantic that I can't ease the pain for my boy. I'm scattered with a tizzy of thoughts ranging from how many calls I've forgotten to make, to worries that something has gotten worse overnight with Asher's hydrocephalus. He's just so uncomfortable.

Then Ryan makes me laugh.

He has the best sense of humor, that husband of mine. He takes Asher for me as I spew something quickly about wanting to change the crib sheets. He sits with Asher in the recliner and they read the paper together. Asher starts to calm, pulling and ripping at the pages while Daddy tries to see over the noggin.

I come flying back into the room with a crib sheet thrown over my shoulder and a file in my hand. I start flipping through the pages in the file, a woman on a mission to find the neurosurgeon's phone number, totally forgetting I was about to change sheets.

Ryan looks up from the noggin and the paper and calmly asks, "are you looking for the date of the last crib sheet change?"

And I laugh a real laugh, an unforced laugh that has nothing to do with courtesy. Because he's funny, that husband of mine. Then we make jokes about how I've probably resorted to some crazy file system to control the chaos of our current life. All things listed, dated and filed. One file for sheet changes. One for toilet scrubbing. One for floor sweeping...

Come to think of it, maybe that would help.

Asher is a miserable little snot-nosed cougher these days. Sicker than sick along with his Mom. We've got the antibiotics and the pain reliever, but time to heal could not come fast enough. That pressure in his head is compounded by a difficult cough. Every time he tries to get that junk out of his chest, it pains him. He sits and rubs his face and head and cries.

Today is the day we find out when his surgery will be. (HOPEFULLY.) We meet with the neurosurgeon to go over the MRI and make plans.

Relief could not come soon enough.

Meanwhile, I'll let my husband make me laugh. Because he's good at that. And it helps.

39 clicked right here to comment:

K and/or K said...

Funny husbands are the best kind!

Peanut said...

We prayed for you guys in our Homegroup last night. Hopefully today you will get the news about the surgery date. Poor little guy having to deal with a cold on top of everything. Not fun :(

Heidi Ashworth said...

I can't stand the thought of how miserable that little guy is! How hard it must be for you! Praying harder . . ..

LisAway said...

That is so funny. Comic relief. My husband's pretty good with that, too. I love that I have the sound of his "cackle" (I don't love that word, but you used it, so so am I) because it really made me feel his sense of humor when Miles was singing. And I forgot to mention how much I adore his possibly forced vibrato.

Rachel said...

Oh Heather...my heart breaks for you and your little guy. Praying for a quick recovery, relief, and strength in the days to come. Your husband sounds great...you guys make a good team.

C said...

Hey - rock the neurosurgeons hizzle today, k? thx. bai!

;)
sending happy head thoughts your way and speedy surgery schedules, too!
xo, crock

Lara said...

You must be so stressed out...so hard to see our little ones hurting. Hopefully it's all over soon.

And yay for great (and funny)husbands. Mine is the same way...he totally has teh ability to make me laugh in the most stressful of times. Also, when I'm really, really angry with him.

happygeek said...

Laughing with my hubby is one of my favorite things.
Period.
Get well soonest little Mr. Asher!

Marivic_Little GrumpyAngel said...

Poor Baby Asher. A headache all day long...it's so hard to imagine what that little guy must be feeling :-( Nor can I imagine being in your place as his loving Mom. But it's true that humor helps. After 20+ years of marriage I can say humor got us through so many rough times. You are blessed to have a husband who finds the funny side of life :-)

Melanie J said...

I am so very sad for little Asher! But the other day I was walking to the gym and watching my little guy practice moving his head in a new way, and it made me think of how happy and amazed Asher is going to be when he moves his without any pain. He'll be a whole new kid, except all his wonderful parts will still be the same!

Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

Praying for your whole fam Heather...and I have an award for you today, because of posts just like this one :)

JustRandi said...

Sweet baby. Aren't husbands great? I love it when they can make it better. Not all better, but better.

Jillene said...

I am glad that you have a GREAT husband!! Good luck today!!

Becky said...

Yay for Ryan!

I hope that surgery comes soon, soon, soon so your little guy (and you) can get some relief.

If it's any consolation, I spin around in circles like that every day. But I don't have a good reason like you do... I'm just nuts. :)

joolee said...

What would we do without husbands to make us laugh? Praying relief comes VERY soon. Hang in there girl.

Growin' with it! said...

your hubby sure loves you cuz in my book making me laugh is right up there with kisses and hugs. hope you all feel better VERY soon!

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Gosh, laughter sure helps, doesn't it? So glad you have someone to laugh with. Sick kids is hard, really sick kids is harder, and when mom's sick too, it can just be overwhelming. Remember you have a team of friends real-life and blog-land that will step in and help anyway they can.

Keyona said...

A file system huh...I may have to try that. When is the last time I changed Lael's sheets.... ;o)

It will get better for him soon...hang in there.

Debbie said...

Logging when we do things around the house? Brilliant!

Kristina P. said...

I am so happy you have an amazing husband. You deserve him.

The Three 22nds said...

I think you are pretty funny too!

Thinking of Asher often, praying for you all today.

(I was looking for something the other day- frantically as always, since I can never find anything. Deacon said, "what are you looking for?" I said, "my list". "Oh", he said- "your list of things you are afraid of?")

Kim said...

I can only imagine how miserable you all are, especially sweet Asher.
Keep on laughing, it's the best way to get through. That and chocolate.

Sara@ Butterville said...

I love it when Rob makes me laugh. It doesn't happen often enough! I hope you all are feeling better soon.

Sabrina said...

Hang in there Heather....
and laugh as much as you can!

Carolyn said...

It's wonderful how husbands and wives complement each other. It seems a miracle to me that we never have crazy days on the same day. Whenever he's stressed, I can be calm and level-headed. Whenever I'm freaking out, he can be the one that makes it better.

And more and more, our little guy can contribute to that family well-being too. When the home is tense and we're both focusing perhaps a little too much on a particular task, Soren will do the cutest or most amazing thing. He reminds us what's important.

Kazzy said...

A funny husband was a real marital prerequisite for me!

I am sure you are stressed about your little guy. I am thinking about you today and hope you will get some answers so that you can feel progress is being made.

Best of luck!

a Tonggu Momma said...

Laughter makes everything at least a little easier... Hugs to you.

minnesotamom said...

Prayers being sent your way...and what a blessing to have a humorous husband. I think that's one of God's greatest graces--the ability to laugh.

Erin said...

Man, you are a good writer! You explain yourself so eloquently.

I'm so glad you have a supportive husband who makes you laugh.

I hope you have information by now, and things are set up for Asher!

Ron said...

First, let me tell you, like most of your readers, we are praying. Our church is praying as well.

Secondly, laughter does a heart good like a medicine. I wrote a book about dealing with an Alzhiemers patient while trying to find care. One of the observations is the importance of seeing humor when it is there. It is too easy to get wrapped up in the seriousness of the situation and forget that humor is still there. Funny is still funny. Asher, and hubby, and others will do funny stuff. It does not take away any of the seriousness of the rest of it, but it certainly adds a little buoyancy that makes the load easier to carry for the moment.

Heavines will come back on it own. Whenever possible, chase it away with some good old honest humor .. and laugh ..

Abra said...

I love those moments. The ones that catch you off guard, and cause a real emotion. Especially if it's laughter.
Maybe Reader's Digest got it right,
Laughter really is the best medicine.

Nicole said...

Hi and thanks for stopping by my blog! I had to play a little catch up on Asher. I am so sorry you have to endure a child that is sick. I can't even imagine what must go through your head all day. Just keep praying and I wish you and your family the best.

Nicole

Nicole said...

LOL I think that made sense!!! Nice to meet you too and I look forward to reading about your little one and family! Take care.

That Girl in Brazil said...

Nothing is so sexy as true companionship.

And snorting through your nose, peeing your pants at a shared joke, too.

MommyTime said...

I'm so sorry about poor little Asher's head, and I hope you get a surgery date soon and the little man gets some huge relief. As for your husband, mine makes me laugh like that too, so I can totally relate. What a great thing to have a spouse who can do that! Relish it, as I know you do. Sending many hugs.

MoziEsmé said...

What a guy! It sounds like you could use a few laughs...

Poor Asher - praying he feels better soon.

Eowyn said...

I have to say, one of my very favorite things about my husband is the fact that he can cracks me up regularly. And, funnily enough, I didn't know just how big of a goof he was until after I married him. That's one of those "wake up married to someone else" moments that I've always been pleased about.

I'm so glad you have one too, because it helps.

PsychMamma said...

This post completely cracked me up. I can TOTALLY relate, because the way you describe yourself sounds like me, and my hubby would say something similar. I would be insane and committed to an institution if it weren't for my husband's humor.

Kelly @ Love Well said...

It is SO MISERABLE watching our children suffer. The fact that Asher's relief hasn't come yet must be torture to your soul. I await news.

And way to go, Ryan! In these types of situations, what can you do but laugh, eh?

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