So an average ventricle looks like this...

Life is so tricky. And interesting. And mysterious. And...

You get the idea.

We went to Asher's appointment with the neuro-surgeon this morning regarding his hydrocephalus.

We learned a lot about this condition after listening to the surgeon for over an hour. (I brought a little recorder, aren't I a total geek? Why, you ask? Well, not only to be responsible and thorough, but also to prevent the husband/wife post-appointment argument where I say "NO, that's NOT what he said, he SAID..." and then he says, "Heather, I KNOW he said..." See? Smart wife.)

Anyway, I digress.

The doctor also asked us a lot of questions about Asher's history and observed his behavior. He believes that Asher's hydrocephalus is congenital (rather than being caused by an injury, neonatal issue, or as a result of any other problem.)

So most likely, since it's congenital, it's all Ryan's fault.

(Yes, of course I'm kidding! Like I would blame my husband for this. For eating the last of the ice cream, sure. But not for this.)

The doctor also believes that Asher's mobility issues (he's been slow to walk, etc.) may also be due to his condition. But he isn't sure. (It could also be due to the fact that his large noggin throws his balance off a bit.)

The good news continues to be that this was caught before it did any developmental damage. It isn't common to see hydrocephalus at this age, so we're so thankful our pediatrician encouraged us to have a catscan.

The neuro-surgeon also showed us the catscan and pointed out the size of the ventricles that are (over) filled with spinal fluid. They. are. big. About two to three times bigger than an "average" ventricle.

Yeah, lots and lots of extra spinal fluid in there. So this is where it gets tricky for me, knowing that the more fluid that collects there, the more of a chance the pressure will effect his brain. So everything in me was screaming "DO THE SURGERY RIGHT NOW THIS VERY SECOND OR I'LL FOLLOW YOU AROUND TAPPING YOU ON THE SHOULDER UNTIL YOU DO AND THAT COULD BE REALLY ANNOYING, ESPECIALLY WHILE DOING SURGERIES, MR. SURGEON!!!"

Ryan has to keep reminding me that the neuro-surgeon knows a lot more about brains than I do. I'm sure if he thought it was that urgent, they really would be rushing Asher into surgery. For now it looks like an MRI next Tuesday and a follow-up appointment with the surgeon Thursday. Then the surgery itself will be about a week after that. Sigh...

________

When we got home from the appointment, I was going through some paperwork (a really huge pile) and came across a piece of scrap paper with a list of names on it. I nearly threw it aside, but stopped to look more closely. It was a list of baby names from when I was pregnant with Asher.

Nolan
Ethan
Alex
Sawyer

But no Asher. (When we came across the name Asher late in my pregnancy all other names were quickly disregarded. Because Asher rocks the party.)

It's so crazy to think back and know there was a time that we didn't know his name. We didn't know what his laugh would sound like or what foods he would love. We didn't know that he would cry for six months straight from tummy pain, or that he'd develop hydrocephalus and need surgery and frequent check-ups for the rest of his life.

We don't get to know.

But as the days pass, and we learn more about this once unknown little guy, it doesn't matter what crosses our sometimes mysterious and tricky path. Because we're falling more and more in love with Asher, just as he is. He's already had a lot of bumps in his short road, but he's still full of joy. He's a trooper, indeed.