If weighing the pros and cons about moving out to "the country" were a game of tennis, my neck would surely be sore.
My hometown is in "the country." We love it there.
We currently live in "the city." We love it here.
We kick around the idea of moving to the country about once a month. Being closer to my parents would be one of the pros. (And sometimes that's one of the cons. Ha! Kidding parents, kidding.)
If we never move out of the city to the town I grew up in, it's the fault of the guys with the really long scraggly beards at the movie theater Ryan and I went to when visiting my parents this weekend.
Seriously. If you're totally drunk at 4pm, please don't go to a matinee in a small town. There aren't very many people to fill up the theater, so your antics will be even more obnoxious. My suggestion is that you just go home and take a nap. You can always get up later and keep drinking if it's that important to you.
Also. Screaming "Happy Valentine's, evray budday!" while impersonating Elvis isn't really very funny. Especially during a movie. Just so you know. And stumbling up and down the theater aisle giggling? Well, that just makes a person look like a toddler stuck in a grown man's body. But not that cute.
Oh! And finishing the job of ruining the movie by responding to EACH and EVERY line by yelling something that doesn't apply? WOW. I almost risked my own life to search for the flask and grab the dudes by the collar, knocking their heads together and screaming, "SHUT UUUUUP!" at the top of my lungs. But if I lived through that, I would have had to drink whatever was in the flask just to calm down, and that could be really dangerous too.
So instead, I sat in my seat and whispered things to Ryan to distract us from the annoyance. No, not wonderful, loving, sweet Valentine things. More like, "What will you give me if I risk my life for you to enjoy this movie?"
Well, okay. Maybe it was actually something like, "Hey! Why aren't you doing something about this? BE A MAN AND SAY SOMETHING! I've got your back! I want to see what happens at the end of the movie!" (Not just whispering, but whiny whispering.)
He never responded. Weird.
Because he's always been a city boy and these experiences are foreign to him, Ryan said that if I had taken him to that theater for that same experience in the beginning of our relationship, he would have written off the idea of ever moving there. But because he's had many good experiences visiting my home town at this point, he's more willing to disregard this particular trip to the cinema. Isn't he gracious?
And yes, yes. I know that there are drunk people in the city too. It's just that if they're at a movie theater making complete fools of themselves, the people that work there kick them out. This theater only has like two people on staff at a given time, and they're fifteen and busy making popcorn. So I'm pretty sure they aren't going to confront huge men who happen to be wasted.
After the movie (that we couldn't pay attention to) we thought we'd redeem our Valentine's date by heading out for dinner. The hostess sat us in our booth and said, "The soup today is chicken TOR-TOO-LONI." That cheered us right up. She was also fifteen.
We ate and settled in, meeting up with a couple of good friends, ready to redeem the night with some great live music, performed by an old friend.
We heard three songs and then we got The Asher Call. He had woken up and couldn't be consoled, he wanted us home. So we snatched up our coats and hats and off to my parent's house we went, as fast as we could, leaving our friends in the dust.
We got in the car and headed out. Sigh, I said. Sigh, he said. And then we laughed and hoped in unison that Asher would be okay until we got there.
During the ten minute drive to my parent's house we lightened the mood. We curled our lips and shouted at the top of our lungs, "Happy Valentine's, evray budday! Happy Valentine's!"
Next year, when Ryan asks what I want for Valentine's Day, I'm going to say, "A drunk-free movie, tor-too-loni, and peaceful, sleeping children."