In defense of Mommy Bloggers

Recently, Carolyn Hax of the Washington Post received a question from someone who called herself Tacoma, WA. Tacoma wrote in to ask for advice on why her best friend, who is a stay at home mom, thinks she's so busy. She said that when she asks her friend what she's busy with, the stay at home mom lists daily errands that anyone does, including herself as a childless person. Tacoma was confused as to why her friend would seem so overwhelmed all the time, and questioned Carolyn on whether or not said friend is simply trying to appear busy as a competition. Carolyn Hax's response is just plain brilliant.

Around the same time that this article was being shared all over the internet, one of my favorite bloggers wrote a beautiful post about needing more hands and feet and time. Then she ended the post saying that she'd never want to quit her job (as a stay at home mom). Some of the comments in response were angry ones, saying that for being such busy moms, she and her readers seem to have a lot of time for blogging and commenting on blogs.

I thought about that a lot. I'm sure it does appear contradictory. Me saying I'm so busy and yet I'm a blogger. But what many people don't understand is that none of it is easy and smooth. Tacoma didn't understand why errands would be harder with kids. I'm sure there are a lot of people who can't see how even "down time" for a mother is never really down time. There is nothing in a mother's day that happens uninterrupted, including blogging.

I love to write and I love to read. Blogging is a way to find community in what can be a very isolating life. It makes me a better Mom in many ways. There is so much going on in my head at any given moment, from little shoes sizes to doctor appointments, to what I should be doing differently to what needs to happen next. And all of it matters more than words can say when you love two little people this much. Blogging is a way to share some of those thoughts and feelings, a way to have my day brightened and to be encouraged.

In blogging, I find other moms that completely understand me, and I'm connected to them and their wisdom, and that's a beautiful thing. It's not a needy or selfish thing, it's simply an added benefit to an already fulfilling life. If my husband, family and friends are busy at work or with their own appointments and errands and life, there is always someone to connect with online when I need it. We are mothers. We need connection beyond the walls of our home because we're doing this mostly alone. The days of "it takes a village" are sadly over. It's just that simple.

Yes, there are days when I put off a thousand other things and I steal far too many minutes blogging. But for the most part, the limited moments I steal are connections that bring me through the day, lifting me up a little so I can move on to the next diaper, the next meal, the next tantrum, the next game of hide and seek. I come away having learned something to apply to this life filled with long days of ups and downs, interruptions, and more joy than I've ever known.

My boys are worth every long day. They are worth my time. As long as I can handle the 124 times they interrupted even this blog post with grace, I'm doing okay. If I find myself wanting to do this more than I want to answer the next question, get the next snack, or play the next game, I simply need to check myself. No one knows better than a mother when her kids aren't a priority. If I get the gut feeling I'm being a bit too selfish with my time, I need to turn my focus back to them. Finding the balance is tricky, but all of it is good.