3/3/09

you get more of what you focus on

Posted on Bluesday~February 3, 2009

Do you know what's funny?

I rambled on and on yesterday about wanting another baby and today I mostly just want to run screaming down the street shouting, "I HAVE FREE CHILDREN FOR ANYONE WHO WILL TAKE THEM!!!"

Life is funny that way. Motherhood is funny that way.

In other words, I don't feel like this:
(seriously. what is wrong with me?)


I feel like this:

When the Dad is out of town for the work week, Tuesdays are just icky. It's like there's a curse on them. I noticed it many Tuesdays ago and now that I'm focusing on it, I'm sure I'm making them even worse. You get more of what you focus on, you know. (yeah yeah whatever.)

The day even started with Miles misjudging his aim in the bathroom, and me mopping up a very full bladder's amount of urine.

You know how your sock can get twisted in your shoe and it feels all annoying or maybe even painful, especially if one of the nubby seam ends is rubbing your big toe? And the more annoyed you are, the more you think about your foot and pretty soon you just want to chop it off?

Tuesdays are like that.

I declare a new name for this day of the week. It will be Bluesday. Use it.

I was thinking about that whole getting more of what you focus on thing today, and how I should probably not focus so much on things like missed naps and huge pee puddles. Because that's only a part of this motherhood gig, and it only becomes a really big part if I stay focused on it. I love to try to stay focused on the beautiful things, but sometimes life makes that pretty tricky.

Then I remembered that the daily grind hard stuff of motherhood is what reminds me that this life is not all about me. And I like it that way. I don't like life much when it's all about me.

So I'm fine. Happy even, on this here fine Bluesday.

P.S. I can't thank you enough for the comments and emails yesterday. It helped me more than I can say. I'm still confused as to why anyone would come by and read my scattered thoughts. And then so many of you take the time to share your thoughts and encouragement and it just simply blows my mind. Thank you.

38 clicked right here to comment:

K and/or K said...

We email bc we LOVE you!

Peanut said...

Awwww big hugs friend. I'm with you on the bluesday... it's so far from the weekend and relief. I'm pretty sure that if I ever accidentally teach my kids bad words, it will be on a Tuesday. (a few too many chances today!) I agree with you that we get more of what we focus on (which might explain my weird association with 6:37), but you know, I think it's ok to have a bad day every so often. Give yourself a little grace, you don't have to have the right attitude all the time. Sometimes a bad attitude day reminds me of what is important to focus on. And if it helps you feel more normal, lots of mom friends on Facebook seem to be having a rough day today... the bluesday blues I guess.

Growin' with it! said...

bluesday...you always have a way of "making lemonade"!! love that about you.

Kimberly said...

We've been having a day like that today as well. The girls have literally been shrieking at each other on and off.

And then, just a few minutes ago, they expressed their love for each other verbally and spontaneously gave each other hugs.

They confuse the heck out of me, those two.

Less Toil Traci said...

Bluesday...I like it. I loved your pic with the laundry basket. Do you put your camera on timer? or does your hubby or Miles take those great shots?!! Love it.

Didn't comment on yesterday's post...not sure what to tell you. Other than no matter when you stop (having kids) you always wonder what the next one would have been like. Go with your gut. You got a good one.

Motherboard said...

That first pic is hilarious.

I like Bluesday. I am going to use it for the remainder of the day!

Kristina P. said...

I love Bluesday!!

3 Bay B Chicks said...

Who is the masked woman joyfully dancing with her laundry and wearing an apron? Surely that is not my streety-street friend, Heather? No, Heather is way too gansta for something like that.

Now, falling asleep on the laundry, that's more like it.

Also, I will dutifully honor Bluesday by changing all of the calendars in my house.

-Francesca

PS: Sorry about the urine. That just sucks.

Annette Lyon said...

I guess I need to refocus, huh? Good reminder. :)

Erin said...

I don't have anything to say, except I love this post!

CC said...

I totally feel like picture #2. But for me, it's WEdnesdays that are sooooo hard to get through. Not enough sleep catching up to me.

Corinne said...

I couldn't agree more with Bluesday! It's kind of a nothing day - not the first day of week, not the middle of the week, not Thursday (which is always good since it's a good TV night!), and not Friday.

Just Bluesday... but there's still good things that happen on Tuesday :)

Jessica said...

I heartily agree with you! In fact, I have always believed Tuesdays to be the worst day of the week- the day that inevitably will have all the bad things happen in it! Bluesday, so true. Glad we survived this one! Love your making sense out of the crumminess, It's not about me. I need to keep repeating that today . . . and every tuesday!

sara said...

yep, gonna use it!!! Bluesday it is!

Love the pics and you gotta love those boys..eh?

Sheryl said...

love this post. in the midst of some great humor you also have hit on wisdom. we do get more of what we focus on. i've got lots of "yuck" to focus on, but what good does that do anybody?

and who on earth is in that first picture? ha

Muthering Heights said...

You poor thing...thank goodness today is almost over!

Keyona said...

Heather oh Heather, how nice it is to have a girl! J/K!! :o)

You know you have our love and support always. BTW, I love the picture in the apron MUCH better than the other one!

Jen said...

Life is like that sometimes. You just never know.

Deb said...

oh now this is funny... life is excellent at throwing curve balls, right? the good news is, bluesday is almost over!

you're a thinker and i adore thinkers.

i owe you an email.

LexiconLuvr said...

I'm wallowing in Bluesday today. =[
It's a tough day to be a mommy.

Willow Tree said...

Silly Goose. You must've forgotten the real reason for Tuesdays. American Idol! Oh yes I did.

Luh-OVE your apron by the way. And falling asleep on the laundry? Now you're speaking my language!

Keep your chin up, you're doing an amazing job.

Blessings, Carolynn

Debbie said...

I cannot believe I forgot to tell you how much I love the new profile picture! Once I start reading the post, I forget things I meant to say. What are we talking about?

MoziEsmé said...

Bluesday works for me! And laundry always makes me tired... Though right now I'm trying to focus on the daisies and violets in my yard instead!

a Tonggu Momma said...

That first photo totally looks like me. Except you are wearing clothes. And you don't have a startled, humiliated expression on your face.

Kelly @ Love Well said...

Corey just got home from his trip (short this week), so my Bluesday isn't so blue. This time.

But you know that I know what you mean. Single parenting is HARD. Do something for yourself tomorrow. (Also known as Hump Day.)

Kazzy said...

I liked how you said your life is not about you. Interesting thought. When you have little ones it totally isn't, but there will come a time when it will be about you more. And then you will feel a bit liberated and like you need to be reintroduced to yourself. It is kinda fun!

Rebecca said...

If Tuesday is Bluesday, can Monday be Glumday? Or Bumday? Mondays are the hardest around here. I'm making you a list you can choose from according to the appropriate day:

Glumday
Bluesday
Offendsday
Turdsday
Cryday
Crappersday
Sunday (Because hey, I have to be respectful of the Sabbath!)

Rebecca said...

Sorry. "Crappersday" should have been "Crapperday".

Flows better. Right down the toilet.

:D

JCK said...

Love those pictures!

Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting said...

I have some catching up to do, dear friend. I missed you! I feel like I went on vacation, yet, all I had was 23483948374 soccer games and such, this weekend, and more since.

I adore you. Everything about you. Whether it's Bluesday or Tuesday, I'm here, always listening.

And another baby maybe? *squeals a little*

Off to go read everyfricken thing I've missed.

Rach@In His Hands said...

Look at you in that first pic - crack me up, girl! You are too cute in that fancy apron.


I love that even when Bluesday rolls around, you still are making the most of it.

LisAway said...

I love your pictures. And I'm sorry, but I can't call it Bluesday because it's the day the kids start school at 8:50 instead of 8:00, which means I make muffins or pancakes or something and we eat it together instead of just our boring cold cereal or toast in front of cartoons.

I remember vividly one day maybe 5 years ago when I was dumping trash from one little garbage can into a bigger one and the bag did something weird and nasty garbage went all over the floor. I think I said, "dammit!" or something. Then I realized that I had never even said that word until like the year before, and now I said it often and got frustrated over the dumbest things. I should have said, "Whoops!" Or maybe, "Duh." and cleaned it up with a smile. I would have a year before. I'm glad I had that moment because, even though I still have that tendency toward negativism that I hate, I at least remember that feeling of "Wait a minute! I doesn't have to be like this!" Really, it's not like the world is out to make my life hard. Come on, Lisa, roll with the punches. Especially the tiny ones like a little spilled garbage! Sheesh.

happygeek said...

You get what you focus on. LOVE IT.
IT's so true. The more I fuss about what's going wrong, the more the wrong keeps going.

Beck said...

Yesterday was kind of krep here, too. And then I topped it off by getting into an arguement with my husband. Bluesday = win!

That laundry basket picture is the awesomest thing I have ever, ever seen. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Angie said...

In honor of Bluesday, here's a little advice my sister-in-law passed along to me:

"By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil Show, I have finally found inner peace.

Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.

So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle of Merlot a package of Oreo's, a pot of coffee, the rest of the Cheesecake, some Saltines and a box of Godiva Chocolates.

Dr. Phil was right...you have no idea how I feel right now!"

Love the pictures. Hope your Wednesday is a better day!

Heidi Ashworth said...

Hey, here it is almost 5 pm on Wednesday (also known as bedensday but only if I get a nap)and I am finally reading this post! I think both pics of you are simply adorable and I LOVE LOVE LOVE your kitchen! And the apron. Come to think of it, the laundry basket ain't bad, either. (Anything I missed?) (Oh, the kid--yeah, I'll take him, too.)

Eowyn said...

Thursday's are my day. It's a mental battle to even get out of bed!

Your kids are darling, even if you want to give them away on occasion (I've felt that way about mine!)

radioactive girl said...

My day is Wednesday. Tuesday is fine with me so far but that Wednesday....

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