9/1/09

Autumn, I love you. But I don't.

Tuesday~September 1, 2009


I'm going to have to do it. I'm going to have to put my fingers on the page, lifting it up and over, turning to September. School, schedules, activities, the cold settling in and stealing Summer, making it seem even shorter than it was.

Minnesota is as abrupt as she is indecisive, when it comes to the changing of seasons.

I love the Fall colors, the crisp leaves underfoot on long walks, and the need for a cozy sweater. I love that Fall means I'm about to pull out more blankets, throwing them over our beds, soft and colorful, something that feels new.

But so soon?

I don't like that Fall means Winter is peeking it's huge noggin around the corner of the next calendar page, ready to pounce, stealing the beautiful colors from the trees, making their visit even shorter, and then staying just a moment long enough to steal my sanity. Winter is no friend of mine.

So I'll think of the good things, I'll focus on how I love the structure of the school year, how it arrives and tells me that I'm...Expected. Responsible. Capable. Up in the morning and out the door, maybe even getting Miles to school on time. September says I can do that, so I'll try.

Even though I'll be missing the sun-kissed skin on my Summer busy boys and our long days by the water in the heat. I'll miss them exactly as they were this Summer. And on the first day of school, I'll be letting go of one of them just a little bit more and my heart will break. Again, over the passing of time. A new school year, the new season, pulling him from me...


Dear Autumn,

Let's get this straight. Your stark contrasts have arrived with a chill in the air and an early darkening evening sky. You come and you steal much and then you give much. You are as fickle as I am.

You're yet another culprit, a player in this conspiracy to speed the years that my children are under my roof. You're one of the four, the starkly different seasons that add beauty and life to all our days. The seasons that speak loudly of time slipping away, rushing me through this part of my mothering journey. These early years, like Summer, slipping. And then your flashes of beauty push me into the next stage, with the force and feeling of a cold front.

So I'm a little bit mad at you, Autumn.

And yet I love you.

Please stay long and color much. I'll forgive you and embrace you, as much as I can.

Give Spring my love, tell Summer I'll miss her, but please, no word of this to Winter.

Sincerely,
Mother Heather


(photo courtesy of flickr)

41 clicked right here to comment:

Mommy Mo said...

Beautiful, as always.

Can I just say that I LOVED seeing you this weekend? And that the cool weather was just the icing on the cake.

You are pure awesome-ness and girl, whenever I am with you, I seem to bare my soul. Goodness.

MIss you!

MamaBear said...

It stinks that my favorite season of the year is such a short and unpredictable one. If you add up all the good* weather we have here it's only nice for 1 out of the 12 months. Makes me wonder why I put up with it....Then I remember that our family is here and that home is where the heart is - whether we're freezing or melting, we're in this together

*Good for me is 65-70 and partly cloudy.

Mrs. Realife said...

Love this.

But I love Autumn too much to ever hate it!

I don't have children... that could be part of it.

Great read!

Becca said...

Amen, amen, amen. Days like this, I just want to put magnets on my baby birds to pull them back safely into the nest (after, you know, they've had their daily adventures).

Kristina P. said...

Fall is my favorite season. But you're right. It's that much closer to winter, and I really hate the freezing cold, and the snow.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

You are so talented! I loved your letter to fall.

However, I'm one of those freaks that loves winter too. I really and truly love all the seasons. To me, they are all beautiful. They all have a certain charm to them. Perhaps this is because I grew up in California and always, always longed for snow.

Beth said...

Autumn is my FAVORITE season, but Winter is no friend of mine either, so I'm with you in that sense! Love the letter...just brilliant. "Please, no word of this to Winter."

Life Is Beautiful said...

AMEN! My sentiments exactly (only yours is put to beautifully phrased sentences and a writing style that can't be matched).

Heather of the EO said...

I must say I do have some love for Winter. The snow during Christmas part. But that's all. Otherwise, I think it's just plain mean! :)

Susan B. at warmchocmilk said...

Wow! That was beautifully written, and pretty much my sentiments exactly. Here we go!

The Rambler said...

As always Heather....well written.

I live in Hawaii and our seasons are pretty much just sun and a rainy 'wintertime'.

I envy the 4 seasons others get to experience.

Jo@Mylestones said...

I love that very last line (no word of this to winter!!). And I'm 100% with you on your seasonal sentiment.

Lara said...

Fall is my favorite for so many reasons.

Except the one that means winter is soon to follow.

a Tonggu Momma said...

Well at least the Minnesota State Mosquito... er... Bird... is now gone for the year.

Jen said...

I totally feel the same way. I love fall for the color and crispness in the air but I am not in any mean ready for winter. Here's hoping for a long fall and very short winter.

This Heavenly Life said...

Yes, indeed. If we could sweet-talk autumn into a longer visit and trash-talk winter into a shorter visit, the world would be a better place. 'long about February I'll be buttering Spring up, too. :)

H-Mama said...

I love fall! In the south, it's like a north summer. I suppose most of our winter is like a north fall? ;)

L.T. Elliot said...

You're way nicer than I am. I hate fall. I'm mean to fall. It's mean to me. We hate each other.

Debbie said...

I have always loved fall best. But now fall means my chicks are gone. So, fall is mean.

MidnightCafe said...

Heather, Winter *is* tough in MN. Somehow or other I'm looking forward to it this year, though. I have absolutely NO idea why. But, perhaps, you should come to my house when it gets too awful, and we'll make a fire in the fireplace & roast marshmallows and pretend it's summer. ;)

Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting said...

This is my absolutely favorite time of the year. It's cooled off just enough that walks and running and park trips aren't burning us to a crisp, yet capris and open-toed shoes are still okay. Yay!

Corinne said...

I so hear you! It's my favorite season... but I hate the soft whispers that winter is around the corner... yikes!

Sande said...

Your are saying farewell to summer and I am in overwhelming anticipation .... ironic.

blueviolet said...

This was so beautiful. Why aren't you writing for a magazine or some such? You have a true gift.

Sabrina said...

What's up with this cooler weather so soon? I'm sorry but it kind of bugs me. I want hot sticky heat until the end! I'm hoping for a warm winter. Remember that one December when it was like 50 degrees outside and we all thought it was tropical. AMAZING.
You are awesome BTW.

Midwest Mommy said...

Fall is probably my almost favorite season (did that just make sense). I love it but I hate what follows.

Kelly @ Love Well said...

Speak the word, sister.

Fall is agonizingly beautiful. It's almost impossible not to be smitten by the glory around us. But in Minnesota, you know the other (snow)shoe is about to drop.

Ugh.

WILLOW TREE said...

It was too bad you were busy this weekend, would have liked to say hi! Next time, maybe.

Yes, Autumn is grand, Winter - Shhh.

Blessings,
Carolynn

Em said...

Gorgeous love letter to Fall!

You can come see me - 92 today here in Big D.

Fall doesn't visit at all I'm afraid. Too damn hot for the genteel of the seasons - Fall and Spring. It's just Summer, and then Winter for a week. Nothing like picking out pumpkins in shorts.

Can you tell I miss the East Coast and its Four Seasons?

Rach@In His Hands said...

Took the words right out of this Midwesterner's mouth. *Sigh*

april said...

I love this post. I love fall here. It goes on forever...well unless it stays HOT until November then goes straight to winter. Yeah, then I hate it. So, I totally see what you mean.

Kazzy said...

LOL Love the letter! I love Autumn too.

charrette said...

"Please stay long and color much."

Amen.

Dave said...

having grown up in AR, and now living in MO, autumn is usually brief or non-existent. We jump straight from summer, to winter, and usually skip spring back into summer again.

This year we seem to have skipped summer, moving from spring directly to fall, after a few buffer days of summer in the 90s.

I could get used to this :-)

Demara said...

haha you're too funny!

I too dislike Winter, but now Autumn isn't too shabby. there are a lot of good things like you said, like sweaters and beautiful cool breezy walks!

I will not miss Summer's scorching kisses at all! lol

Kristen@nosmallthing said...

Right on Sister. I love love love autumn. Love it. But somehow, this year in particular, I have really enjoyed summer...maybe it is because we took some fun vacations...the weather wasn't as hot as normal...we had some serious fun...maybe because I know another year of my kiddies lives will be slipping by without me noticing it...

But yeah, I will miss summer this year.

Marisa said...

Loved your letter to Autumn! So creative! Summer goes by too fast, doesn't it?

Growin' with it! said...

as much as i'm waving the oregon rain goodbye, i will say i'm going to miss the defining seasons. i keep hearing how sometimes they are in shorts around Christmas time.

Deb said...

if it all just didn't go by so fast... even the dark days of winter.

once school starts, it feels like i blink and it is the holidays, which you may not know, i can't STAND.

time is getting away from me and that makes me sad.

Melanie J said...

This had such fantastic imagery and you make it look so effortless. Bravo!

Kim said...

Can you add my name to the letter? Really, I would be so happy to have Winter only in the month of December, then be done with it. Give me a longer fall, spring and summer please.

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