10/12/09

Falling

Monday~October 12th, 2009

We woke up to snow this morning. A thick with heavy snow that covers the trees and has turned everything still and quiet. A soft blanket of white like out of a painting. It's beautiful, but the early arrival of it makes no sense to my pumpkin and trick-or-treating mind. It just keeps coming down, all day long it's been falling and acting like Christmas.

The leaves on the hard-working branches need more time to deepen their colors, but they're hidden and drooping, tired. They're being pulled to their weakest place. When the wind picks up, they'll let go with a relieved sigh and then fall, they'll land gracefully despite the mystery of where they'll come to a stop.

The other day, I prayed. I wanted to know just the right answer, what is the very best thing to do that won't mean we're falling and landing in exactly the wrong place? I wanted an answer of the neon variety, a big bold thundering voice heavy-like-snow telling me what we should do.

But the voice was instead soft, like a covering, and the words there is no wrong answer here rushed their way through my suddenly still and quiet mind. That voice came with not my wisdom, but the gifted voice that is from someone else far greater. Like a gust of wind it came and went and then I smiled because of that reminder that sometimes there's no black and white answer, no wrong or right or good or bad.

Sometimes either way, thing, or choice is good and right because we want so badly to do right and lovely things, so our steps are covered with a blanket of grace and we go.

No matter how right we're trying to be, sometimes there's no neon.

There is no wrong answer here.

The unknown place we will land is already occupied by that same merciful voice.

The only choice we have is to let go with a relieved sigh and fall, landing in a neon grace, despite the mystery of where we'll come to a stop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's my Dad's birthday today. So even though his internet is totally broken, I still have to say...

Happy Birthday, Papa. I don't know what I'd do without you and your merciful voice. I love you.

45 clicked right here to comment:

ballast photography said...

Thanks for this reminder, Heather. I, too, have been praying and seeking neon, when perhaps I need to be looking in softer, more graceful places.

But snow??? Really? Here in southeastern Virginia October snow is an utterly foreign concept. Have fun with it! maybe you could make a snow-scarecrow...

Anonymous said...

I have been having trouble letting go, trusting in a good place to land. Thank you for the lovely reminder.

Jamie said...

"an answer of the neon variety"...I often find myself praying for this very thing.

I enjoyed this post! It's a refreshing reminder to know my steps are covered with a blanket of grace. It is much needed grace on my part!

Elizabeth said...

Heather, thank you. I really needed to read this right this very minute.

((hugs))

Jen said...

Heather, your mind and your way with words is such a beautiful thing. Thank you so much for sharing this. And I mean this with my whole heart.

Laura Marchant said...

Seriously I love your style of writing.

H-Mama said...

a blanket of grace. love that. i never considered myself to be a person having to hold a comfort item, but may have to consider this blanket of grace my... blankie. ;)

snow. *sigh* it's just now showing signs of fall around here.

Lindsey said...

Heather,
This is so incredibly lovely; I too long for a clear answer, preferably as loud and irrefutable as a thunderclap. Instead, I seem to be getting only the murmuring that you describe here.
But if I can believe, even for a moment, that there is no wrong choice ... well, that provides grace indeed.

Thank you.
Lindsey
www.adesignsovast.com

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

What a sweet reminder, Heather! And one I desperately needed right now.

May you fall gently and happily...

Melanie Jacobson said...

How beautiful.

Deb said...

oh this is just beautiful... and true. oh, how i love being hit over the head with the big, neon answer from God... and how rare an occasion that is.

Kim said...

Thank you so much for this. It is so true and oh how I needed it. How do you do that? How do you just say what I need to hear all the time?? I am so glad that God speaks through you to the rest of us.

Oh and snow??? I am NOT ready for that. My folks had 6 inches at their house in Omaha on Sunday. EEK!

katdish said...

Gaaaa!!!!

I needed this today. Thank you.

Mama-Face said...

I am simply blown away by this. I think we all have this spiritual need...and sometimes the harder we look the harder it is to find. Sometimes? More like all the time.
I know that I have set some new priorities for myself in order to feel the spirit. It's hard tho; life gets in the way sometimes; including blogging. But reading your words, (and other blogs as well), lifts my spirit, its just a matter of finding the right balance.

Wonderful post.

Stephanie said...

I think God answers a lot of prayers this way, but it takes some quiet pleading to get the message. And these answers don't mean He doesn't care what he do, but rather that he trusts us and he will bless our choice.

Unknown said...

Oh just beautiful poetry from you my friend on this Monday evening in Southern California with a darkening sky filled with white, gray, and black dramatically shaped clouds telling me to finally let go of thoughts of summer and sand. And you are already on to winter. Wow.

I also believe there is no wrong answer...the only wrong to me is doing nothing. No motion. As long as there is motion in my life, I know I am walking the path meant for me.

Sorry to ramble....thanks for this thought-provoking post and Happy Birthday to your DAD!! Thanks Heather's Dad for giving us Heather!!

:-)

Corinne Cunningham said...

It's so hard not to look just for the neon. And oh how easy would it be if all answers showed up as big blinking neon signs? If that were the case, life wouldn't be nearly as sweet :)

I love this post Heather. Nicely done! (and snow? Ugh....)

Ann Imig said...

This is when I go to black and white. Moments like this.

And living a meaningful life is all about gray.

Why is it so hard to remember?

Anonymous said...

I need a quiet, soft voice. I need something.
I needed this post.

Cynthia said...

Yet another great post.

Sometimes he just lets us choose, knowing that either path will lead us ultimately to the place/experience he intends for us, but with different scenery.

I hope you can enjoy the falling part now!

Amber said...

When I read this, my thoughts turned to 1 Kings 19:12-12. Elijah hears the voice of the Lord, not in the wind, not in an earthquake, and not in a fire, but a still, small, voice. Answers to prayers come when we listen.
Thank you for reminding me.

maggie said...

I prayed for a neon sign today. Maybe it is this post?!

thanks

Kristen@nosmallthing said...

I've felt that same voice speak to me...on only one occasion, but it was a powerful voice, even though it was soft. I'll never forget that feeling. I knew that letting go was the way...that I would land in a soft place.

Good luck to you Heather of the EO. And also, SNOW?!

happygeek said...

I've been thinking on this a lot recently.
I think we have been so programmed to think that the will of God is a very prescribed thing for each individual. I'm starting to believe that following the words given and living a life that is listening for the voice is THE WILL and the details don't always matter so much.

Blessed said...

I too am guilty of seeking neon answers - most often they come in a much softer tone.

Billy Coffey said...

I remember reading once that no snowflake falls in an inappropriate place. That really hit me. I thought of every flake falling like a piece of a giant puzzle and resting just where it should be.

I think sometimes our answers are like that, too. They come just when they're needed, and just in the right way.

Happy Birthday to your dad.

Unknown said...

amazing and gentle like you as always.

Tina Dee Books said...

What a lovely post!

And, now I'm jealous you got snow--we only get sunny & warm and folks going to the beach on Christmas, horrific.

Cynthia said...

"There is no wrong answer here." Why can't I get that into my head? I think I try way to hard to control it...

Becca said...

What a tender mercy that answer is - "there is no wrong answer. there is no better path." The thought that God trusts us to find multiple ways to bring about His will is a beauty.

Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting said...

Oh, how I love you. And this post. Thank you!

Happy Birthday to your dad :)

jasonS said...

Absolutely. I love that voice and love those words. :)

LunaMoonbeam said...

Oh, how right you are. Sometimes, when we're good and have been making good, intelligent, guided choices...all the options open to us ARE good ones. And we just get to pick which way to go. The freedom is staggering, isn't it? Almost mind-blowing.

Happy birthday to your Papa!

Unknown said...

Whirlwind, earthquake, fire...and then a still, small voice. I love your description of a soft blanket, gently depositing an answer a bit at a time.

My dad died one month ago today. His birthday is next week. Give your dad an extra hug and thank the Lord he's still around, functional internet or not!

charrette said...

This is so beautiful, and SO TRUE. No neon, no flaming arrows -- just the unmistakable still small voice. And a peacefulness that pierces your very center. I also love the image of snow as a covering of grace. Wow!

I love you!

Elizabeth @claritychaos said...

I admire your clarity. I can ask alright, but I have a hard time with the listening part. Glad to hear you're feeling at peace with things, lady.

D. said...

I liked this post - this time of year just gets me. :)

CC said...

Wonderfully written. And happy birthday to your papa too!

Catherine said...

Heather, I don't know if you read all these comments, but I needed this post today more than you can know. We have been praying for even a "whisper" from God for 18 months or more on an important and emotional issue. We have heard nothing.

"Sometimes either way, thing, or choice is good and right because we want so badly to do right and lovely things, so our steps are covered with a blanket of grace and we go."

I needed that reminder. Thank you from both my husband and myself.

The responses from others were also hugely helpful.

Thank you, Lee for "And these answers don't mean He doesn't care what he do, but rather that he trusts us and he will bless our choice." I love this!

Thanks to Corinne for "I also believe there is no wrong answer...the only wrong to me is doing nothing. No motion. As long as there is motion in my life, I know I am walking the path meant for me. " We have begun "motion". Thank you.

Catherine

Kazzy said...

Neon answers... man, I love that!

Penny Williams said...

Thank you for sharing this. It is so meaningful to me to be reminded that sometimes just doing something, is doing the right thing. Beautifully articulated.

Haley said...

Sometimes it is hard to remember that the answers to our prayers aren't going big and bold for us to see always.

This is a great post and a wonderful reminder....thank you.

Tiffany @ Lattes And Life said...

Beautifully written.

On another note, I hate you and your snow-covered turning-leaves bliss-plosion.

*stomping my feet and returning to my 80 degrees too-green-for-Fall-trees swampland*

Amanda said...

Love this Heather. I have not heard the Holy Spirit being portrayed quite so lovely before... and I have to admit, I like it lots!!

Blessings-
Amanda

Liz Mays said...

Answers very rarely come in neon,do they?

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