if you set aside your self-righteousness for a bit.
I said that (or rather, I typed it) on Twitter the other day. Usually I tweet riveting stuff like I want tacos, so it felt a little strange to randomly say such a thing. I wasn't trying to be profound or intense or philosophical or anything. Or maybe I was, but I didn't think it would be taken that way. And then it was. It was re-tweeted over and over and I was a bit stunned.
Little did anyone who read that tweet know that I said it because of Rachael Ray.
It's not that I dislike her, I obviously don't know her personally, but I was disliking watching her that day. I was home alone, eating lunch, and I turned the TV on and there she was, constantly sticking her tongue out of the side of her mouth while interviewing someone I wanted to learn more about. I almost started counting the number of times that little tongue flicked out. It was distracting, at least to an overly observant person like me, so I put on my judgy hat and fumed, stop sticking your tongue out, while eating my salad followed by a dilly bar.
Then a thought struck me, one that I needed. Her seemingly constant licking of her lips was annoying me, yes, but I wondered how annoying it is to watch ME pick at my lip. Yes, I pick at the skin on my lip. So much so, that I do it without thinking, like nail biting or lip chewing. I'd probably even do it on TV (if I happened to have my own show because of being an excellent cook or something that I'm not).
So I shook my head at me and continued to watch the interview.
Thinking about myself and what I do that's annoying instantly made me like Rachael Ray more. An immediate acceptance of her lip-licking ways hit me and I had to think about all the bigger things I naturally judge before looking at me. How I do the exact same thing that's bothering me in one way or another. About how damaging that is and how it sucks the life out of relationships.
I shut off the TV and started vacuuming and thinking of things that have bothered me or even hurt me, things I have blamed or judged people for, big or small. I realized that pretty much everything dulls in comparison with what I do in the same or a slightly different way. Self-righteousness is such an ugly thing. I've known that, but it's good to know it more.
I love that a shift in thinking, a change of heart, can occur in and because of the most simple and mundane things. Like daytime television and vacuuming. Even those things. We just have to be open to them. The strange and beautiful lessons are there, every day.
So there you have it. My "profound" tweet had people saying AMEN! and WHOA! and it was triggered by Rachael Ray's tongue.
You just never know.
41 clicked right here to comment:
What a great post. Looking inward and accepting our flaws is hard. I should probably step back and have a change of heart as well. Inspiring post, yet again. Thanks!
Love this!!!
Some of my best thinking occurs while I vacuum. Which is ironic when you think about it.
And which is also not the real lesson in your post. I've heard it said that what we don't like in others; what annoys us in others...is what we don't like about ourselves. I think that is why my sister drives me crazy.
This is a great post - and though I'd say that based on the title alone - it's such a good reminder to keep ourselves in check, and also to always be on the look out for learning moments. Even while watching daytime television.
Wow Heather. You are growing more profound with each passing day. Thank you for sharing these thoughts with us as we can all use that sage advice. God bless.
I think every single day I say, "It's the little things." It's not original, it's nothing new, we all say it from time to time. And it's true. It's the little things that make or break us, help us or hurt us. Change our mood, make us think, help us survive a day.
You just never know the little epiphanies you are going to have in a day. Makes me think I should ditch my job and watch a little daytime TV every once in a while. Ha, kidding. But what it really does make me think about is the fact that when I have the time to really ponder something I usually come out the other side, like you have here. And THAT feeling is really quite awesome. I welcome it. I'm grateful for it.
Hmm. Now what is it that I do? No lip-licking or lip-picking, but I know there's SOMETHING (or, more likely, MULTIPLE somethings). Yeah, will probably be a little more aware of it today.
It was an incredibly profound thought, Heather, and one that I could stand reminding of.
I reluctantly admit that I needed to read this today. (or any day, or every day, really.)
Love you, Heather.
xo elizabeth
LOL... I had enough reasons to not really like watching RR, but now I have another one.
I sat in a meeting the other day with a man behind me that had a hiccup tick. It wasn't just the hiccups, it was a very loud tick. For 2 days I would see him and when he stopped talking he would start to hiccup.
Some people just seem to have more annoying problem then the last. They can't help it. When RR was on here in the afternoon, my daughter and I made a game of counting tongue flicks.
While I see your "message" inside this post and agree with you, I have to say that I agree even more with the whole tongue thing being annoying as heck! I realize I, too, have many annoying habits that probably drive people crazy but I'm not on national TV with millions of people watching me do them. Someone should let her know. :)
When I was in high school, many moons ago, I had to sit by a girl who sniffled ALL THE TIME. Over and over. She wasn't sick, didn't have allergies, nothing. Just sniffled. I swear I couldn't pay attention in that class b/c of it and probably paid for it with a poor grade. It's funny to me now though, the little things that get to us.
Thanks for blogging, I really like reading your posts!
okay, suddenly i am thinking we need to go to blogher, but NOT BUY A TICKET, and have an intense weekend of self-improvement courses... with you being the leader. we need a room of our own called "this has nothing to do with blogging, and everything to do with accepting and loving and learning to live better".
i need more of this.
I love those random profound thoughts that hit me every now and then. Too bad I never remember them long enough...but then I never thought about tweeting them. EXCELLENT idea!
the tongue thing makes her almost impossible for me to watch... but you definitely put a new spin on things for me. great way of looking at it.
Haha, I had to click on Sherry's site to make sure I don't know her, because I think I sniffle. Not always sick, but constant allergies. Now that I think about it, next door cubicles probably hear it all day.
Thanks for the good daily reminder. Just one more to add to the list...
No wonder my profound insights are few and far between. I don't vacuum enough... :)
I love this post. When I'm feeling snarky towards someone, it's almost always because they trigger something I don't like about myself. Though it's really hard to see it.
Now I'll never look at Rachel Ray the same way, though... :)
Wow! Loved this post. Thanks for it. I'm pondering.
Hugs,
Traci
racheal ray drives me nuts, but i do love to watch her cook. then i got to you lip-picking part AS I WAS DOING THE EXACT SAME THING. judgey-wudgey, i am.
good post. self-righteousness is an ugly thing, and i don't turn the mirrow on myself enough.
Great post! And one I needed to read. I'm having trouble liking someone right now...oh, the self-righteousness it is really ugly.
Very insightful! I think this is why it's so easy to dislike someone from afar but so difficult to continue disliking that person once you get to know them a little.
I don't watch RR but you bet I'll be on the lookout for the tongue if I do catch a show!
I've noticed that the habits/traits in other people that annoy me the MOST...are ones I hate in myself. Heh. How's that for ironic?
At least I'm consistent!
This is so true. Thanks for sharing in such an honest way. I was just reading something the other day about how when we are judging someone negatively, it's probably something we don't like about ourselves. I started thinking about it and as hard as it was I had to admit it was true!
I think you know how i feel about RR... she is right up there with my BFF Oprah. But you're right about what you said in your blog, and i shouldnt be so critical of her or the almighty O. They are just people like everyone else. And Lord knows i'm not perfect.
P.S. I never remember you picking your lips... maybe because you don't bug me like RR and her lip smacking. ooops. I mean her cute little lip tick. :)
Can I just say how much I hate it when Rachael Ray does this?! I think it's the reason I rarely watch anymore...
I had the same kind of epiphany a couple days ago. I was not as eloquent as you about it though. :)
Pamela, yes. Feel free. :)
It IS really distracting. I'm sure it will still distract me, I just found it less annoying after I remembered how annoying I must be :)
OMG, I pick at my lips, too(!). I know it's gross but I totally just do it without thinking about it at all... and when I catch myself it bothers me, why do I do it?
Love this post about the background behind that tweet... I'm pretty sure I'm one of the RTers. :)
This hit home today... yikes ;)
I've been trying to let the negativity in my life drift a bit farther away with each day of being sober. So far so good, but I'm still amazed at how much was there - when I thought I was so positive.
It's good to be aware.
Hmmm, I never noticed she sticks out her tongue. I think alot of us have little "quirks".
never good to be self-righteous. I personally thing self-righteous people become very unlikeable.
interesting the things we can learn about life, while just living life...if we just keep in tune with what is going on around us
and how it affects us
and I am sooooo rambling.
the mood was right to notice. i try and remember this when i am dressed like a slob and go out in public. like, i can make fun of it one minute and live outside those standards the next. not sure if this is relevant or not. but maybe i'll tweet i like spaghetti and see what happens.
I think we all have weird little quirks that we do and not notice, but I would think that she being on TV that a producer would have pointed that out to her, and obviously have her thinking about it everytime that tounge comes out! I never liked her anyways so maybe I'm just biased! :P
You just never know.
And this is what makes you a good blogger and a great writer -- the ability to notice the profound in the mundane.
I feel like I've been thinking about self-righteousness a lot lately (maybe it has to do with me reading through the Gospels, where those annoying Pharisees are center stage). It's NEVER attractive. Never. I prefer grace. Yet I have a hard time living that sometimes.
I have never been a fan of RR. I saw her on a show on the food network where she would spend about $40 a day on some sort of mini vacation... and she was a horrible tipper.
That was just a big no-no for me! If you are going to go out at least tip 15%, especially if you are on tv showing us all how to have fun for 40 bucks.
Now you've got me thinking...! I'm sure I do the same things that annoy me in other people. What a great post.
I honestly love your blog. This post is so true. But...I still think her tongue is a bit over the top ;)
isn't it amazing what little things spur the biggest change of thoughts in our minds.
What a true, true statement that is. Although I don't like Rachel Ray because I'm cooking a lot of her recipes lately because 30 minutes is about my limit in the kitchen right now and I don't think I buy her whole 30 minute promise . . .
Great post. I have a friend in my life who fits this "bill" for me, and she really is a great person. Thanks for reminding me!
Thank you for sharing these thoughts with us as we can all use that sage advice. God bless.
Work from home India
(commenting here VERY late, sorry).
That's all well and true, but what about those of us who just DON'T HAVE ANY WEAKNESSES!?! What about us? I mean, it makes it nearly impossible to like ANYONE!! :)
Actually, I just wanted to say the part about that is all well and true. I was even thinking about this just the other day, trying to list things about myself that might annoy other people to give myself some perspective.
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