Life

I realize my posts have been a bit serious these days. But I guess that's because life is pretty tricky most of the time. One of my dear friends, Tiffany had her daughter, Chloe prematurely about a year and a half ago. The doctors could never find any obvious reason why this happened, but it's currently happening again. Tiffany is in the hospital trying to keep baby #2 inside that body of hers. She is 25 weeks pregnant. Obviously, this is FAR too soon to have her baby boy. Each day counts. Another day, a healthier baby. Tiffany is doing her best to take care of each moment to ensure as many days as possible. In the process she has had to let go of caring for Chloe and entrust that to loving family members. She also has to let go of taking care of things at the practice she and her husband, Grady run. (They're eye doctors). That's hard for any woman, especially a mom -that letting go thing. There are just times when there is no other option. This is one of those times.
Ryan and I have our struggles here and there with Asher and Miles but we've never had to endure this kind of stress. Maybe God knows I wasn't cut out for it. They say He gives us only what we can handle. I love the saying that goes, "but I wish He didn't trust me so much." I'm sure that's just one of the gammet of feelings that comes along with a situation like this.
Tiff and Grady live in Washington so I can't just buzz on over to the hospital to keep her company. I sure wish I could. We would play boggle and do some puzzles - we're both really big geeks. We would eat Laffy Taffy (only a little, it's not healthy!) and giggle at memories of our past. We used to be pretty carefree, Tiff and I. It used to be easier to have faith because when we look back with these new perspectives, we see life wasn't really all that challenging. Sure we thought it was, but most of that was the drama we created on our own in our young and immature days.
We had time for things like prayer, reading, and spending some time at church. Life has brought us each some pretty difficult times, but it seems like it does get harder as you get older. I sure wish it didn't have to be that way. But I guess it's how God turns us into the women we need to be to bring our children up in the way that we should. We wouldn't know half as much if life were easy all the time. We wouldn't know how to teach our children how to deal with hard times. And we wouldn't have learned that all things really do work together for good. Even the hardest things.
One of the verses I have on a little notecard goes, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer."- Romans 12:12. If you ask me most days, I'd say that's a pretty tall order. After all, who can do even one? Not this lady - my patience is usually spent by about 10am, I frown more than smile most days so there goes the joy. And prayer? Well, let's just say I fall asleep...
I know this is all part of the preschool years being so physically draining, but I also can admit that there's a part of me that says, "okay, I'll do all that and then what?" I'm my own devil's advocate when I think that even if I do these things, life will still get me. And I'll be asking "where is God?" So I'm endlessly thankful that the Spirit of God does this hard work for me if only I will ask. We just can't do it, I've proven that to myself time and again. I try really hard, but I stay in the same ruts when I don't cry out for help. When I ask, He really does somehow make it all make sense for me. It's miraculous.
Life is simply hard for Tiff, Grady and Chloe these days. I pray that the Spirit that helps me will do the same for them.
"...and He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. He did this so that man would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us." Acts 17:26-27