2/19/09

Follow the Leader

Posted on Thursday~February 19, 2009


They stand at my feet.

"I want a green one

no not yellow

I said please Mom!"

"Mama, can I just have an orange one!"


He yanks on my legs.

"I just want one more

and a green one and then three

MOM, you're not listening!"


He snaps, he fusses, he stomps.


He wants wants wants

he's not doing it right


He can't wait for what he wants.
------------

"Child, you need to back up!

ask in your regular voice

not with a whine...

just give me some space!"


"I was doing something

I will get it for you

it will be green

and then orange

stop grabbing


stop pulling


don't cry

get off your brother's foot

get off my foot

I HEARD YOU!"

I snap, I fuss, I stomp.


I can't wait for what I want.


------------

I see it then,


we're the same.


we want.


I stop

and I sigh

and I breathe


and start again.


"Let me come down there

let me sit with you

let me look at you

what color would you like?"

and I smile


"Green, I think you said green.


Now how about if you ask again?"


I speak calmly


so does he.

He smiles

We share a snack and a laugh


no tears, no fuss, no stomp


just us.

47 clicked right here to comment:

Kristina P. said...

Are we talking about Skittles? Delicious!

Debbie said...

And that is why you are such a great mother. You have that ability to put yourself in your kid's shoes.

Less Toil Traci said...

Totally relate.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

This was so simple and wonderful. I have been there so many times.

Jenny said...

Yes. Mothering is SO hard. It's the biggest test of selflessness there is, I think.

Erin said...

Oh, that is very nice. My son is asking me to play trains and Uno with him. I think we'll start with one and then move onto the other. A smiley boy is a happy boy. And a happy mom.

sara said...

that was beautiful!!! I have lived those words!!

LisAway said...

EXACTLY! I need to have that kind of happy ending more often.

Or start with that ending and skip the snapping, fussing and stomping.

a Tonggu Momma said...

I can totally relate to this one.

Angie said...

Beautiful. So true. We've all been there. And it's those times when we take the time to just sit and hold and love that communication happens the way it's intended to.

What a great post.

Peanut said...

I totally model temper tantrums for my kids...

Elizabeth said...

The story of my life most days. You said it well!

Lara said...

Me too! It's hard to take a step back and see where the behavior is actually coming from. And it's always me. Sigh.

Cynthia said...

I so relate to that! I know exactly where my kids learned to whine (hangs head in shame).

Ron said...

it is in the simplest things that we see our things .. I have seen parents tell their kids to look both ways and never go if a car is coming .. then they will see a car, but know they can make it, and go .. the kid sees mom/dad walking across the street/parking lot in front on oncoming cars ..

we were at McD's Friday evening .. grandson (4) walked out holding Big Papaw's (me) hand .. he said, I look both ways .. nothing coming .. makes ya remember

Abra said...

Perfectly said :)

Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting said...

Yes! I do it all the time. It hurts, doesn't it? When you realize they're doing what you're doing?

Great, post. Fabulous! Lovin' it.

Melanie J said...

Man, have I been here. So, so been there. Keep going back there. Keep trying to learn.

Danita said...

Beautifully written!
I have those moments too...when i realize my children act a certain way cause they are immulating ME!!
scary thought sometimes ;)

Jenn said...

This was great! I loved how you wrote this out. Great job!

NorahS said...

Beautiful. Such a great post. See, you are a good mom.

RosyRose said...

great poetry! love it!
We are so much alike~ are we not?!!!

Wendi @ Every Day Miracles said...

Wow. Convicted. Maybe if I stopped acting like a spoiled 3 year old my 3 year old would have a little more respect for me.... Hmmm... :)

Jessica said...

It always works better when we're on their level, doesn't it? Thanks for the reminder!

Megan@SortaCrunchy said...

I find this to be true daily. When Dacey's behavior spirals down, I have to stop and assess myself first. What vibe am I putting out? Am I remember to let my gentleness be evident to all - even and especially my children? More often than not, when she gets negative, she is just responding to me. :(

Megan@SortaCrunchy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kim said...

story of my days. it is so hard to be the grown up sometimes isn't it?

Rach@In His Hands said...

You have such a way of bringing out both the joy and trials of motherhood. Kudos to you, friend. You're a very special Mama!

Alicia W. said...

This so could be from my life. Thanks!

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Precious. I enjoying coming here so much.

Kimberly said...

Oh the humility required to see our influence on them and change it for the better!

Boy Mom said...

Beautiful!

The Mom Jen said...

I can feel you sweating, but beautifully written!

Kazzy said...

Sweet and poignant. We really do WANT, and we want it now. Nice job.

MidnightCafe said...

That's a fantastic piece of writing, Heather! So honest & poignant. Thank you.

Corinne said...

So well said :) That exact thing happens here. Only when I remember (and why is it so hard to remember???) to sit down, listen, and talk with my kid does it get easier.

Brooke said...

Love it. It is so true.

Jules said...

Wonderful post! Such a nice reminder.

Tooj said...

I love it. :) Very nice.

I don't know if you call this an epiphany for getting your kids to behave as you want, but I do...and I had one just yesterday. Mine went very similarly to this, but it was about bath and bedtime. Aahhh...communicating is so nice when it's done right.

CC said...

Sweet, sober, and wonderful. :)

Carolyn said...

I like that. Did you write it?

LexiconLuvr said...

Beautiful. Wonderful job!

kel said...

I love this!

Eowyn said...

Beautiful poem!

MoziEsmé said...

beautifully written. and i can relate so well!

charrette said...

Beautiful. Profound. I saw here a great lesson in parenting...and also a lesson in the way we approach, and are answered by, our Heavenly Parent.

We whine, we fuss. He speaks calmly, He smiles.

Love you!

Maria said...

Oh, Heather...I can so relate! Well written :)

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