5/9/09

Oh, the irony

Saturday~May 9, 2009

Here I am at a coffee shop by myself on a Saturday. Blogging must be done. The last couple of days were interesting, friends. Interesting as in totally weird and really quite humorous. Three different strange-ish things have happened. Let's pretend like you're dying to know what they are, bullet-style:

  • I had a catscan recently because of some concerns about my belly. I assumed that my belly is weird because a 10 pound, 10 ounce Asher changed things up in there, and it turns out I was correct. Due to my second pregnancy and the incredible stretching it called for, I now have diastasis. Here, let wikipedia explain: "Diastasis (also known as abdominal separation) is a disorder defined as a separation of the rectus abdominis muscle into right and left halves. [1] Normally, the two sides of the muscle are joined at the linea alba at the body midline." So yeah, my belly muscles were stretched into two halves, leaving a gap from my rib cage to my belly button. I don't really know what this means exactly because the nurse that called to tell me couldn't answer my questions, and I haven't talked directly to my doctor yet. This can be painful over time, apparently, but right now it's not bothering me. My only concern is how this would effect a future pregnancy. If you have answers about that, please share. You are much quicker than doctors. What I do know is how it's fixed, and it's my favorite part. Are you ready? TUMMY TUCK, PEOPLE!!! Yup, I could totally get a free tummy tuck to fix this (and yes, I've secretly wanted one since Asher was born.). But I'd rather have another baby.
  • I got a bunch of emails yesterday letting me know I'm a "Queen Bee." I said something along the lines of "I don't get it." But upon opening the links, I discovered that this here blog was in the Nielsen ratings online "Power Mom 50." Still confused? Me too. I don't really understand completely, but it's something about "leading voices in the mom blogosphere." You can read about it here if you're totally intrigued. When I took a look at the other bloggers on the list, I decided that there's been some sort of mistake. Pioneer Woman, Adventures in Babywearing, Suburb Sanity, Crazy Adventures in Parenting, We Are THAT Family. And ME? Seriously confusing. But the word "influential" is used in the description, so I just wanted to let you know I'm brain washing you with all my influence. Sorry. (I find it quite humorous that this news came the day after I wrote a post about being in the blogosphere less and spending more time with my family. Dang, there goes my influence.)
  • And lastly, a funny-in-an-ironic-way real-life story for you. My friend Kate and I were hanging out last night at her house. Her husband is out of town for work and her kids were tucked snug in their beds. We decided to go sit out on the three season porch, and ended up reminiscing about all of the silly, idiotic, embarrassing, immature, irresponsible things we did in our early twenties when we lived and worked together. Story after story came back to us and we rolled our eyes and said "WHO WERE WE????" Then suddenly Kate hopped up from the couch and rushed toward the door to the house. I thought maybe she remembered the iron was on or something because she was so startled and hurried. Then I understood. She stood at the door, turning the knob back and forth and saying "Oh no" over and over. Yeah, we locked ourselves out. And it was late. So we paced and made fun of ourselves for doing something so scatter-brained WHILE we were talking about how silly we USED to be. Finally, we had to completely seal the deal and act like we were in high school by breaking in. Kate knocked on the neighbor's door and sheepishly asked for a ladder so we could reach the only window on the house that was open. Then this kind neighbor, a young lady that really knows how to break into a house (and it was pretty impressive, actually), climbed up, cut the screen and threw herself head first through the window, then came downstairs and let us in. Nice.
I hope your weekend is good.

Peace out.

40 clicked right here to comment:

Carrie said...

That is hilarious. And also, I'm not surprised at all that you were on an 'influential blogger' list. :)

And the tummy tuck? Yeah, that's really cool. :)

Annette Lyon said...

Pretty much what Carrie said. Hope everything works out with another pregnancy AND a tummy tuck. (I'd be all over it.)

Lara said...

Of course you're on the most influential bloggers list.

I want a good reason to have a tummy tuck (other than the bagel I currently have).

Amanda - The Mom Job said...

I like your subtle hint, but I'm still interested to hear your take on the whole topic we discussed previously...

Fit it in on some random Saturday whilst Coffee Shop Blogging??

Sabrina said...

Wow! Tummy Tucks, BIG TImE BLOGGER, Breaking and entering!
whoo whee!!!!

Were you with Kate, kinda my frind too now kate? Im invisioning the scenerio and it is HILARIOUS!!!!

LexiconLuvr said...

I lock myself out of things all the time!!!

Hey, keep us updated on the condition, okay? I want to make sure you're okay. As for the influential thing--you totally are. I love your blog. It helps keep so much in perspective. It also helps me feel like I can handle it a bit at a time as long as I keep the good stuff in sight. (And I mean Kenny Chesney's Good Stuff, not the hard stuff.) =]

Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting said...

OMG you rock with the tummy tuck! Hey, come to think of it, that sounds similar to the tummy issues I've been having, not to mention the fact I have a hernia in the mix :-S

You ARE a power mom. Don't ever doubt that :)

And you locked yourselves out lol you are SUCH my twin!

Deb said...

can you have another baby and THEN get the tummy tuck?

and yes, girl, you are so very influential. i hope you'll still remember us little folks...

oh, and you're a big dork.

minnesotamom said...

Wow, now you have me hoping for abdominal muscle separation, whereas before I didn't want it! Hmm...

I hope me weekend is...less eventful than yours. :)

Heidi Ashworth said...

Heather--wow! Wow wow wow! Three wow stories in one blog post. Kind of overwhelming. Congrats on being one of the 50 most influential mom bloggers out there (or at least that was the impression I got from going to the site). Clearly, YOU ROCK!

Cynthia said...

I'm not surprised at all by the 'Mom blogger' award. Just don't let it put pressure on you- do whatever you need to do.

And I'm laughing at the locking out of the house thing. I do scatterbrained stuff like that all the time.

I am jealous of the tummy tuck. I want one. And I want my boobs put back. Not bigger, not fake, just back where they belong!

Kimberly said...

Maybe this next one will be a biggy so I can get a free tummy tuck too! Okay, perhaps not the most worthy of aspirations...

I just love that you don't fully realize your awesomeness. Of course you're in the top 50!

Em said...

Would you use your influence to get that site to publish the list in pdf format?

No PowerPoint for me - bum.

Congratulations! On making the list and the free tummy tuck.

The abdominal serparation, not so much. Ouch.

Debbie said...

I feel like we are freakishly twinned or something. I have that diastasis too! Why didn't you email me right away? (like I asked you too, but no pressure). I had a vertical incision with my section and not everything went back like it should. It is great excuse for not being able to do sit-ups. Well, that and the fact that I don't try. Anyway, ask if you want more gory details!
And you are a great blogger with extreme talent. And a goofy person who locks herself out. We locked ourselves out of our beach condo a couple of years ago. Went on the porch of the people's condo downstairs, hoisted our daughter up onto my husband's shoulders and then over the rail onto the deck. The best part? The people downstairs never even bothered to see what was going on!
Happy Mother's Day sweetie!

Jen said...

I had a 10lb 10oz baby too. Hayden was that big when he was born. The doctors said it was a good thing b/c he got me ready for the triplets. ;) I don't have any issues with my muscles or at least I don't think that I do.

I can just see you and your friends climbing in the window. Too funny.

I hope that you enjoyed your time at the coffee shop.

sara said...

first off, i don't want to be a downer about the tummy tuck..BUT...think twice about it unless you really have a high tolerance for pain. my good friend had one and it is a VERY painful recovery. She is one strong woman and now says she would never do it again..even for the results!!!

but on a lighter note...congrats on the award!!! you so deserve it!!

and finally, thanks for making me laugh as I envisioned you guys on the porch realizing you were locked out!! lol!

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Power Moms? Who comes up with this stuff?? But I'm glad that you and Debbie are on it - I like to see people I like get some recognition! I'm not really familiar with the other sites on that list.

And I've totally locked myself out of the house on several occassions. I love to hear stories about how other people are as flakey as me.

Oh yeah and I'm a huge fan of usually-elective surgery being covered by insurance for medical reasons. I'm just waiting to "have" to get that nose job.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

On MY Google Reader, you're easily one of the TOP 5 most influential bloggers, so clearly those folks got it wrong. And I have my annual in July. I wonder if I jiggle purposefully if my ob/gym will prescribe a necessary liposuction. It's worth a shot.

Muthering Heights said...

I'm sorry about your tummy...hey, I'll take that tummy tuck for you, if you want another baby instead, LOL!

Conograts on the queen-bee-ness of it all...that's awesome!

"Rachel" said...

I'm so glad to hear I am not the only one who had a baby do damage to the insides of my abdomen as well as the outside. But unfortunately I don't get a tummy tuck out of the deal. Boo.

Congrats on that! Every Mom's dream come true! Happy Mother's Day!

Oh, and congrats on the Queen Bee rankings!

Blessed said...

Oh great... now for the last 6 weeks of this pregnancy I'll be wondering if my belly muscles are separating... the doctor is predicting a big baby :) Oh well, maybe if it does happen I'll get a tummy tuck out of it too and that wouldn't be so bad!

Congrats on your "influence" I hope you get lots of coffee shop time so that we still get to hear from you.

Oh and the breaking and entering story sounds way too much like something I would end up doing... maybe I'd better give an extra key to my neighbor!

charrette said...

Heather! That is HUGE!
Oh, I mean making the Top 50 of course --
not your belly. :)
Oh my goodness, what I wouldn't GIVE for a tummy tuck! (Except birth, unfortunately)

You are truly amazing! The honesty, humor, candor, and heart in your writing is so endearing and, well, influential. Especially if you can reach ME -- a fairly jaded person who is not easily influenced or impressed!

And the locking yourself out bit? Just one more of the wacky things we all love about you!

Marisa said...

My firstborn gave me my lovely diastasis from rib cage to 3" below my belly button. I had no problem carrying my daughter, although I was on bed rest at 30 wks and she was 6 weeks early (not because of the diastasis) so I'm not sure how uncomfortable I would've been had I carried her full term. When I'm done having babies a tummy tuck would be really nice especially since I now have back trouble from time to time. I think my abs are shot and my back makes up for the lack of support.

wendy said...

That whole belly problem - yikes, you were sounding like Dr. Brennan in the tv show BONES (my favorite by the way ) as how she explains things. made me giggle. And I hope you and your friend don't decide to take "breaking and entering" as a hobby. You'll laugh about that for a long time.

Kazzy said...

Coolness on the mommy blogger thing! And a tummy tuck? Sounds really painful. I had four c-sections and those ab surgeries hurt.

Mike said...

Have a great week ahead.

Mike
http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.comTwitter: AboutParentingPhoto ideas? 100 Portrait Ideas

JustRandi said...

OK, that is hilarious! I really don't know how I would ever break in to my house. But I'm fairly sure it would involve glass. And lots of bandaids.

3 Bay B Chicks said...

Wow! One of the 50 most influential Mom bloggers? Heather, you DO rock (just like Heidi said.) I am so glad that you are going to BlogHer. When you are hanging out with Heather Armstrong, talking about the "little people", remember me!

-Francesca

Karen said...

My friend had the same thing although maybe it was less severe. She did physical therapy and I believe the problem when away relatively painlessly. Hope that helps!

Growin' with it! said...

wish a tummy tuck would do it for me...mine would have to be a BODY tuck! ☺ what we do to have kiddos. always worth it and more!

Motherboard said...

I want a tummy tuck. that would be easier.

Of course you are the most influential blogger out there! Your blog is my favorite. I may not comment-- but you rock!

I love that the skinny girl that broke into your house carries a pocket knife. Keep on her good side!

And, I just read you're going to Blogher? I was toying with the idea... maybe now I will.

a Tonggu Momma said...

Of COURSE you are a Queen Bee. It does not surprise me at all.

Mrs4444 said...

Holy Cow, Heather! That's awesome! Very, very cool. The blogging recognition, not the locked-out-of-the-house thing :) And sorry about the tummy thing...

jen@odbt said...

I was told I have that ab separation too. I didn't know that it was a condition that a tummy tuck would fix for free? For real??? Congrats on being a power 50!

radioactive girl said...

I love that it happened WHILE you were talking about how irresponsible you used to be! Too funny!

I have that thing you have too but was never told a tummy tuck would fix it. Interesting!

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

I so need to have a hernia repaired in my tummy (again) but want another baby too!

Mommy Mo said...

A tummy tuck that you don't have to pay for? Awesome. Hoping that your split muscle never becomes painful. And OH, that you can have another baby when you are ready.

Bzzzz, bzzzzz- you ARE a queen bee!

As for the last bullet, um yeah, I could totally see myself doing that, EXCEPT that ALL of my windows are locked cuz I am kinda freakily paranoid about locking windows.

Eowyn said...

Ya know, I'd totally get a tummy tuck if I could get it free, but I'm not planning on getting pregnant again to have that happen . . .

And I'm laughing my head off about you locking yourselves out. Mine's car keys in the car. Lock them in so often.

Tooj said...

A free tummy tuck? Wow....that's a steal of a deal for having a big baby! :) I hope all is well, whatever you decide or the docs decide to do with you.

joolee said...

What!? I'm gonna call my insurance company right now.....i totally have that abdominal diastasis or whatever. Seriously, a FREE tummy tuck!!??? And congrats on your fame and fortune. Or maybe just fame:)

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