Shadows

I want to remember it all.
How can we spend so many hours in a day
trying and then forget the vibrant colors,
the details and sounds and smells
and all the minutes?
I get sad over that.

I'm left with bits and pieces,
when I look back
over just one year.

There are only parts of pictures
flashing through my mind,
the whole erased with the adding
of hundreds of long days.

These days are too beautiful and messy
and hard and good
to forget, but I will.
I will only remember the
parts that were the most felt
and so I work on feeling.

And then the shadows of all these things,
dark and vibrant, light at the edges,
will make a home in my heart.
Even while the colors escape my mind.

And I will know it all
became a part of me.
Of us.

The way we spent our days
trying
together.
The long hours spent
in the hard and the good
and the beautiful and the messy.

The shadow of always belonging
tucked there in our hearts.